Swiv Army Knife

*man yells into void*

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

I showed up to an 80s themed party and they kicked me out when I offered quaaludes to their 17 year old son. I was just tryna be thematic and they weren't even real ludes... it was perkys

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

drew a cold bath cuz it's so damn hot and then thoughtlessly took a shit right before so I had to go shower in the other bathroom only to try to get in the bath and see the water had drained #Fuckmychunguslife

[Bam²⁵ @The25thNigga]

Goodmorning y’all happy 6/7

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

that first one got me crying they learned that kid got anger issues😭😭😭

[Nina Deer @longdepzai_n]

Repeating kids joke after no one laughs prank see their reaction 😂😂

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

why he got a saints shirt on tho???

[Football Crave @FootballCravee]

In Madden 27’s Career Mode you can now beat your wife before heading out to practice.

[ً @artfuIchaos]

Her boobs ease the pain, call that iboobprofen

Her ass eases the pain, call that assperin

Her thighs ease the pain, all that thighlenol

[kordell @lledrook]

lil nigga did not see that shit comin LMFAOOO

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

you know how bad you gotta piss someone off to get a divorce in an open relationship😭

[TMZ @TMZ]

💔 EXCLUSIVE: Lena the Plug files for divorce from Adam22.

Details: https://t.co/ygs8SqPTwM

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

I got the nets in the 70s I threw my phone at the wall

[Stanley Earl. @Gluvvvvvv]

yall on 82-0 cheating how yall getting these rolls these niggas giving me bs like nets in the 90s

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

olave better than London so IDK what we doing here

[TB EGO @TomBradyEgo]

Tier list of every teams number 1 WR

[Steez⁴⁷ @Steez_47]

Lil Tecca is genuinely hilarious for this 😭😭😭

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

Michael Thomas and Paul Pogba

[HAWK @HawkEmDownChris]

You can’t say Derrick Rose. Name an athlete you wish had a fully healthy career.

[Fade 🫩 @fadecorner]

“I know how much dick I use” is INSANE lmaoooo

[Quinn @MindOfQuinn]

The Fre4k gonna out last Myles, Chubb, Stefanski 😭

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

ye is sick in the head but that he's running around like he pac long is one of the most prescient observations ever

[Steph @stephxghost]

chill before he really does that lol

[They Got Me @PaulTweetsRIP]

Go to sleep in LA and wake up being told you're getting sent to Cleveland is wild. Someone take his keys away from him.

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

https://t.co/7HgbV3FJ2x

[Jozu 🇵🇦 @JozuJoestarr]

happy pride month to those who celebrate

[Swiv Army Knife @PopeSweezus]

pride month... s/o to all my gay niggas 🫡