Pope Francis 1st

Dominus vobiscum and all that old malarkey. Parodeus naturalamus

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Watching tonight's #scd I seem to have used up an entire box of tissues... with the emotion of it all you despicable sinners! Honestly...

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Huh! Did Copacapana Beach gig for 3 million and not even one bird in a skimpy bikini in the crowd! Them cardinals done me up like a kipper!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Christ on a bike! I wish something interesting would happen. Fed up schlepping about in a sedan chair drinking lattes all bloody day long.

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

*Scratches arse* *Yawns* .....Pfffffffft! ....*Opens tube of Pringles* *Looks down from balcony* Pfffffffft! I'm bored out of my effing box!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Being honest, now that all the hullabaloo has died down I'm bored shitless on this gig. Sod all happens week after week.BORE...ING!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

JC's just been on. Apparently the prayer hotline to heaven's main switchboard just went into meltdown at the conclusion of #thevillage

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Big gig today and that's me done and dusted til Chrimbo except for putting the wind up sinners just for shits and giggles if I get bored lol

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Big weekend coming up and my first chance to really shine. Don't think I'll do a Benny so keeping schtum on contraception and gays for now.

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Revisiting some of my basic mass skills and taking a refresher course in "Bossing the altar" being mentored by that priest from Father Ted

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Bit of an incident over lunch. Benny wanted red but I fancied white so we settled on rosé which neither of us fancied. #MajorBummer

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Meeting Benny for lunch in a bit. Might get awkward as we could bump heads kissing one another's rings...AND what do I call him now?

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Wonder if I can pull rank and body-swerve fish today. OK so Rick Stein might cop the hump, but what the hey... after all I'm da Papa! #perks

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

@ShetlandDave It's very boring between the big showpiece gigs if I'm being honest my son.

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

*Yawns* *sighs* *prays a bit* *walks round palace* Hmph! *Yawns* *sighs* *prays again *signs a few papal edicts* Bored! *Yawns again* Pfft!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Guys who did Coldplay's last tour doing my #papalmass and must say they do 'big scale' with style. I can't wait for the lasers at the end!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

IT'S SHOWTIME! My after mass contract rider better be just right or someone will be getting their arse kicked. Just blue Smarties and Tizer!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Told my secretary to get onto ITV & BBC saying I'd give any documentary makers access all areas. Two can play at that game! #OurQueen

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

Just for the record, I don't actually have a balcony and not a lot of people know that. It's more a shuttered window actually... so there!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

To all da Oirish everywhere (the Church couldn't do it without yiz lads), have a great auld St Patrick's Day! Begob, bejabbers and begorrah!

[Pope Francis 1st @Pope_Frank1]

I am having an amusing diversion playing @MarianKeyes Ieprechaun name game before Benediction. It appears I am now Pope Warty McTavern