Chris Porambo

[Chris Porambo @Porambis]

@mutz29 today's soup was Chicken Dumpling with your favorite Pizza Boats

[Gilbert Gottfried @RealGilbert]

What's the worst part of going down on Barbara Walters? The View. I apologize to anyone who's going down on anyone.

[moe. @moeperiod]

Acoustic Bones of Lazarus, video-style. See you on Fall Tour! http://t.co/qgm8tSDT

[Chris Porambo @Porambis]

@Natem028 the new science teacher teaches...with a power point

[Chris Porambo @Porambis]

I woke up this morning and realized my kids were missing, then i just had to laugh because I don't have kids...anymore

[Chris Porambo @Porambis]

Congrats on your birthday!!! @jimmyfallon

[Chris Porambo @Porambis]

I had a dream about @mutz29 last night

[Pearl Jam @PearlJam]

It's evolution, baby! http://t.co/pXFTf8qH

[Funny Or Die @funnyordie]

Unaired outtakes from @DwightFreeney's cereal commercial: http://t.co/114Ov7Wo

[Dave Attell @attell]

Porn fans!! Its official Dave's @OldPorn is back for a 2nd season starting Nov 8th. S1 begins re-airing on SHO Extreme TONITE @ midnight!

[Michelle Beadle @MichelleDBeadle]

A Creed song just came on and I found myself singing along. Do not be alarmed. I punched myself in the face. #problemsolved

[Funny Or Die @funnyordie]

A drunk girl and a high guy review their experience at Medieval Times: http://t.co/K5X2hFgg

[Artie Lange @artiequitter]

Y'all got, Cocaine eyes!

[Funny Or Die @funnyordie]

5 Nickelodeon Characters Who Lost Their Jobs in the 21st Century: http://t.co/tuGWZp8V

[Funny Or Die @funnyordie]

Bane (@ChrisKattan) gets a job as a telemarketer when his Dark Knight Rises checks stop showing up: http://t.co/3yMXSgxr

[fartoncommand @fartoncommand]

Her name was Roberta Paulson @ADAMDEVINE @UncleBlazer @ders808 @capretti @tjstaab23 @NickLegs

[Onion Sports Network @OnionSports]

Eagles Say Michael Vick Should Be Ready For Thursday Night Injury | For More Sports News: http://t.co/wXtcfLFq

[Onion Sports Network @OnionSports]

Astros Not Even Good Enough To Play For Pride http://t.co/VCmmTL4f

[Rolling Stone @RollingStone]

Hear "Modern Times" by RNDM, the new project featuring Pearl Jam's Jeff Ament and Joseph Arthur: http://t.co/RjdiegeH