National Porn Day Calendar

Parody account for PORN holidays. Totally made up.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

With the warm weather ramping up, #NationalMasturbateInTheCarDay let's us all celebrate the increased temperatures in the best way possible!

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalEatYourGirlfriendsPussyInTheElevatorDay was originally a promotion to encourage folks in the 1800s to ride in elevators, despite safety concerns over the new technology. It's popularity has endured over time, with millions of folks engaging in the practice every day.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

Welp, they've gotta get done some time. And, there's never a good time to do them. So, don't let not having any clothes on stop you. In fact - let it motivate you! And, THAT is what #NationalDoChoresNakedDay is all about...!

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

There's little argument that few things rival the deliciousness of a warm,moist #PUSSY. But, what to do if there's not one available when you get the craving? Well, #NationalEatYourOwnPussyDay offers a solution to that problem, albeit to only a small percentage of the population.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalPieInTheSkyDay highlights the so-named technique for giving cunnilingus. Originating in ancient times, this wildly popular position affords easy oral access to both partner's holes, for those who possess the required flexibility.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

On #NationalBucketListDay, when we reflect on the various things we'd like to do, we also observe #NationalFuckItListDay, when we reflect on the various porn stars we'd like to fuck.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

Made popular during the 1600's, #NationalStickYourFingerInYourAssDay played a key role in the country's formation and remains a source of national pride to this day.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalTittyFuckDay raises awareness of the act of rubbing the penis back and forth between two sufficiently-sized breast, to simulate a fucking motion. The pleasure-inducing nature of the act often results in ejaculation of semen onto the breasts, chin or face of the partner.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalTitsAndTowersDay celebrates those centuries-old stone structures, conjuring up images of fair maidens such as Juliet and Rapunzel, and fueling speculation as to how their stories might have been different if they had flashed their tits more often.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

We're all familiar with the term, "Put your cards on the table", meaning to be completely honest, open and transparent about your true intentions, feelings or plans. Well today, #NationalPutYourTitsOnTheTableDay, has exactly the same meaning - only with TITS, instead of cards.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

With the arrival of spring, the National Parks Association encourages us to celebrate #NationalFuckWhileHikingDay, as a way to appreciate our many national parks and nature reserves.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalSuckDickOnAHighwayOverpassDay raises awareness about highway safety and urges motorist to avoid distracted driving.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalTwoDicksInYourAssDay reminds us to not skimp when it comes to taking the "rear injection". So, instead of just one, take two.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalDontGetCaughtWithYourPantsDownDay warns us to avoid being caught unprepared, vulnerable, or in an embarrassing, compromising situation. It warns against lacking a plan or failing to anticipate risks, leaving you exposed to sudden, unexpected problems or scrutiny.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalEatMyAssDay celebrates those who don't forget about the other hole.

Hey, if you're already down there anyway...

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

Well, some folks ride it fast; some folks ride it slow; and for those people, there's nothing wrong with that. But this day, we're here to celebrate those frolickers, gyrators and rock & rollers who take full advantage of #NationalDanceOnACockDay, and do it like they mean it...!

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

Swings, harnesses, hammocks - whatever your preference - #NationalSuspendedSexDay brings out the "swinger" in all of us!

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

#NationalWideEyedDay celebrates all those times we've witnessed something which caused us to open our eyes wide in amazement, wonder or astonishment.

[National Porn Day Calendar @PornDayCalendar]

Millions of people who admire getting clean while getting dirty are celebrating #NationalFuckInTheShowerDay, today.