TMZ Porty

Searching for juicy gossip from the #CBJ world. If you need a game recap, you've come to the wrong place. #Paywall #PayMe

*Parody Account*

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@CavalryBlue Trust me when I tell you it involves the hockey globalist, dogs, pregame soccer, and Mark Messier.

Full story will be dropping early August after the FA extravaganza tapers off and the Office Pizza Party Contest for new subscribers kicks off! #CBJ

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@CapnCornelius Reckless, you haven't begun to see reckless. Just wait until the FA signings die down, you're not going to believe what's going on!

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

DUBINSKY "Injury" update:

Told it's a "illness", but a call into Inspector Rougeau of the RCMP tells a completely different story.

#CBJ

*BUY 2 GET 1 FREE SALE*

*buy two paragraphs at regular price and get the third one free, not to be combined with any other promotions.

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Click here for the real scoop on why Dubinsky is out. EVERY SHOCKING DETAIL! You won't believe reason number 6, it's a DUBI!!!

#CBJ #Puns

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Thank you to everyone who voted! Your reward!? I'm going to give you 1 and a half paragraphs before the paywall goes up on this #BLOCKBUSTER #SHOCKING #CBJ #EXCLUSIVE

Thanks again. And always remember: It's what happens off the ice that matters! https://t.co/mCh8xfytKo

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

If the #CBJ qualify for the Stanley Cup Playoffs, who would you like to see a vague, unsubstantiated exposé on?

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

If the #CBJ qualify for the Stanley Cup Playoffs, who would you like to see a vague, unsubstantiated exposé on?

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@FHNB_DK @cbj34anderson But look out tomorrow and SUBSCRIBE! Find out who put up the 🍞 to sideline Andy and end his quest for top goal scorer on the team.

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@FHNB_DK @cbj34anderson Sorry, but this story is on the back burner. Currently looking for new buzz words and themes like "swagger", "Anderson's physical play" and "career threatening" to use for my one question I ask every player and member of the coaching staff after the game.

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Thomas Vanek:

350 goals
388 assists
The Marina Restaurant in Rochester

Things just picked up big time for The Portzmeister!

#CBJ

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Hearing some things involving multiple players. Trade Board updated. More to come...
(P3) #CBJ

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Ian Cole to #CBJ

Will try to get a word with him before he gets to the locker room, since I was told I'm "no longer welcomed there."

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Follow us throughout the day for #Breaking #CBJ trade news and updates. As soon as McKenzie, Kyrpeos, and that lousy local paper get their info, I'll pass it on to you.

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@bill86753091 @CapnCornelius Still running $2.99 per story and I can throw in a signed 8x10 of Jaroslav Balastik.

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@CapnCornelius Rumor? Rumor? We only report the facts around here. If you don't believe me, subscribe now!

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

Apologies will be accepted here and on the comments section of our paysite after you subscribe!

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@jjr2525 Click and Pay for full story.

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@FHNB_DK We're still running $2.99 per story now through the Deadline! Updated trade boards hourly, and our easy to follow rumor table (P1, P2, P3, P4, P17)

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

#Breaking #CBJ #YouHeardItHereFirst

Blue Jackets acquire Mark Letestu in bizarre trade. Find out the shocking reason he only lasted 35 seconds in Nashville and hear my conversation with with the RCMP...

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

#Breaking #CBJ

Deal is in and official! $2.99 per story now through Deadline Day!

[TMZ Porty @PortyTmz]

@gambit624 @FHNB_DK I'm actually in Berlin, New Hampshire. The Atlantic has me on assignment at White Mountains Community College covering a 16 week journalism course.