¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel

here for gifs, gaffes, and random rage tweets re: true crime + trash TV. #Copywriter. #SEO. #Music + #Comedy lover. mostly, meh.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

I regret being on Twitter.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

On behalf of the @Mets, I apologize, Norway.

They sucked the lifeblood of your precious, devoted fans, drained their chanting force, and clearly caused this heavy loss.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

@25YearsAgoLive Are you sure?? I heard he moved to huge farm in the countryside.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

Hey, World, there’s a reason we use Anglicized names for your countries.
#FIFA #soccertweets

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

“But rebbe, if he was given the base as a gift, it should nullify that he tried to steal it! After all, he would be given the base he tried to steal!”

Etc.
Etc.
♾️

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

Jew-haters: tHe tAlmUd sAyS gOyiM aRe CaTtLe bOiLinG iN fECes

The Talmud:

[SNY @SNYtv]

Pete Crow-Armstrong is ruled out at second base after initially contacting second base and losing possession of the base.

Crow-Armstrong had initially advanced to second base on a walk.

Cubs manager Craig Counsell has been ejected.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

“If he was stealing the base, then he stole it! If he was given the base, he gets it! BUT…if he was trying to steal the base and then the owner came to give him the base as a gift, he forfeits his right to the base—only if he steps away from the gift stolen base for a second!”

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

I don’t know if that’s Keith Hernandez crying or sniffing lines in the @SNY_Mets booth, but this ain’t the 80s.

We have mute capabilities on the mics.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

Are soccer commentators always this DRAMATIC?

“Do you think they have any chance of winning?”

“Well, the score is 0-0 and there’s only 214 minutes of play time remaining, so… no. No chance.”

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

This place is some kind of Truman Show psyop.

I know I’ve accidentally wandered in there (I got a parking ticket for being a non-resident), but still not sure it’s a real place.

[New York Post @nypost]

Tony Long Island town where no one wanted to be mayor elects man who wasn't even on ballot https://t.co/4nf6HMmFEv

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

Do the winners of the World Cup receive “Best Actor” Academy Awards?
#soccertweets

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

You’re not going to believe how many posts you gotta scroll past before one blames Israel.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

I know nothing of lower-leg ball, but noticed all the international soccer teams have anthems they chant during games.

Does the US have one or is it just the sound of whooshing batteries and/or beer?
#WorldCupTweets

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

This fuchsia fraud is obviously not the real Elmo.
Fake news!

[Elmo @elmo]

Elmo just wants to set the record straight... ❤️❤️ GO TEAM USA! ⚽

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

ADVISORY: All crime occurring north of Midtown Manhattan will be permitted during this time.

[NYPD NEWS @NYPDnews]

The NYPD will deploy over 10,000 officers to tomorrow's Knicks parade — the largest number assigned to any planned event.

Heavy weapons teams, explosive detection k9s, transportation, transit, highway, aviation, drones, and more will be on hand to keep things secure.

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

To that end, can swap a single 6/17 GA ticket in NYC (with @Thrice!!) for the same in BK, calling all Jimmy Eat World / Bleed American fans 📢
(I must go both nights, @Ticketmaster be damned!)

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

Remember when you could walk up to a venue, pay $20 for a ticket, see your favorite band, make new friends, rock tf out, and go home happy?

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

My “unusual behavior” was trying to find a ticket for @jimmyeatworld at their 6/16 show in Brooklyn 😞

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

Going to assume taking on Kharj is going to be… costly.

#PersianPuns

[New York Post @nypost]

Trump says US 'will be taking Kharg Island' oil export hub, vows to hit Iran 'very hard tonight' https://t.co/Q64v4fg627

[¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mel @Post_Mel_Lone]

My mayor is Jewish
My bagels, also Jewish
I don’t care for the Knicks
Just wanted to get in the mix

#JewishTweets #PoetYouKnowIt