Patric Ciervo

I write and perform solo shows, sketch comedy and...*checks notes* jokes about my diabetes.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

My pancreas is like a millennial with a Philosophy degree. It doesn’t work.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHTrain Ok. My follow up question is where am I supposed to find that information

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHAlerts Is the problem fixed ? There was a train that left at 7:24 from WTC roughly. Is that going to get to Hoboken or is it best to get off in Jersey city

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHTrain @libbykoukol So no updates for 20 minutes then it’s suspended. Insane.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHTrain No updates whatsoever about WTC to Hoboken.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHTrain Then time things better so people can make connecting trains when you run trains every 20 minutes. Your app says there is a train arriving at Grove from WTC at 4:23 and there’s the Hoboken train leaving at 4:24. You can’t time it better so the people can make their connections?

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHTrain very nice of your conductor who saw a group of people pulling up from WTC-Newark train at Grove run to the train only to shut the door on them. Not only is it a long wait for the next train but operating with delays. Thanks path.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

Can’t wait to have the prices raised for this exemplary service.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

Vance: I’m married to a beautiful woman.

The couch: what the fuck!

#VPDebate

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

JD Vance: Ah that’s a hard one let me talk about me. #debate2024

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

“On January 6 we were respected all over the world”

— Donald Trump

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

When I’m blaming my bad attitude on low blood sugar but check my cgm and see that I’m fine. #Debates2024 #typeonesiabetes

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

Fuck James Comey #Debates2024

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

Trump is dodging the January 6 question as well as he’s dodged Vietnam. #Debates2024

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHAlerts And according to your app the next train is at 8:43. So that’s 30 minutes. You screw people waiting on the platform for that train.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

@PATHAlerts You guys are the worst. I’m scheduled to get the 8:13 at Hoboken to JSQ. Coming down the stairs two minutes before. The train leaves as I’m walking down.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

The Colorado Supreme Court ruled that Donald Trump may not appear on the states 2024 primary ballot. Upon hearing, Republican Presidential nominee hopeful Ron DeSantis was so excited he awkwardly grinned ear to ear.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

The House of Representatives has voted to expel George Santos. Santos, who lied about his resume and lied to donors will now transfer to lying on the couch.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

George Santos has become the sixth person in history to be expelled from Congress by his colleagues. Santos will now begin his campaign to get at least sixth on Dancing with the Stars.

[Patric Ciervo @Ppciervo]

George Santos loves Halloween because it’s the only time he gets candy for lying about his identity