space pirate 🏴‍☠️

im turning into ferb day by day ain’t shít to talk about

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@loserskylar @izdetwiler Hey now. It’s less stained after cleaning the carpets but this also means Hailei isn’t allowed any drinks at our place until further notice

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

VERY excited to see my wife soon but more excited to not have to do dishes for 2 months since she left the most disgusting pan for me to clean when she fled the country

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

Every year we’re like “this is least decembery December I’ve ever felt” and every year we’re right

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

I’m always makin moves. I don’t know what they are but I AM making them

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

THIS is why it’s important to know your friends emails

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

I wear a hat or bandana so much to my jobs that 7 of my coworkers didn’t recognize me without one and one coworker thought I was bald and was in literal shock that I had hair

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@mcdondads Jesus Christ

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

How many times did y’all listen to your top song this year? I’m tryna see sm

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@maryemmaaaa Valspar Vessel Gray for us 🙃

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

It’s like apartments go out of their way to buy paint that gets ripped off the walls by cheap command strips

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@maggie_c_hart I had nothing with the 1st two but got my flu shot the same time as my booster and had the worst headache. Like not migraine or light-sensitive or anything just head pounding oh my god someone knock me out type stuff

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

This came as a shock to absolutely no one who spent any amount of time with me from June to October

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

*at a job interview* I’ve had the same number one song on Spotify for three years now so yeah you could say I’m committed

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@Daniel_F_Hughes Always love Mus musculus but gotta give it up for the fungus beetles Gelae baen, Gelae belae, Gelae donut, Gelae fish, and Gelae rol

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

Damn November really had places to be huh

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

Why does this give me @MarySurdow and @kbarnes7899 vibes

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@JennaHolwegner Oh you were gonna pay for it? My b

[space pirate 🏴‍☠️ @PresOf_Earth]

@JennaHolwegner Stocking cap, hoodie with hood up, coat, sunglasses, mask. Get that alcohol 🍷

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

thanksgiving is on thursday and i have not heard ONE “beans, greens, potatoes, tomatos” meme. we are losing recipes fr