preston

pretty okay guy | he/him | YNWA | 🇵🇸

[preston @prestovision]

a centipede shows up to his dance audition 3 hours early and begins carefully putting on the first of 100 tap shoes

[S🎧 @wellnessgirlyy]

when 20 yo say shit like “i won’t have kids until like 25” but they don’t know that 25 is literally tomorrow

[preston @prestovision]

just spoke to mitch mcconnell for about 20 minutes and he said “ah oh my god jesus fuck ow oh my god ahhh ahhhhh ahhhhhhh the fire oh my god ahhh jesus help me ahhhh ow ow ow it burns it burns it b—”

[barry @BackseatsmanLFC]

By how nervous I was for that Salah pen I can confirm that I'm not even close to accepting that he's gone yet

[Molly @FSUmollz]

FIFA is such a world-class, respectable organization. A true beacon of integrity and transparency.

[- @AnfieldRd96]

If you think I’ll be supporting Germany because Jurgen Klopp is their manager, then you’d be absolutely spot on.

[¿ @umlarp]

bless my chungus life

[preston @prestovision]

@aubviouslynot bet

[g @34rths]

And for my next trick I will call life beautiful and instantly watch it become so

[hersch @tittyrespecter]

i open this app like a divorced man opening the fridge

[Amelia @amelia_tweetz]

Watching the World Cup has me asking questions. Do Europeans get issued 8 weeks of vacation, unlimited airline miles, and a trust fund at birth? Because every match I turn on there are 40,000 fans following their team to a different state or country on a Tuesday afternoon while Americans are hiding in a work bathroom checking scores.

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

i was put on earth to go out to dinner

[¿ @umlarp]

doing a line of hope

[saira @sairaspooks]

my best friend is watching lord of the rings for the first time and today i’m joining her to watch the two towers which means i get to tell her the thing. i have waited my whole life for this moment

[eve @csiirac]

ancient pitbull: its mr pangea

[hera @shiningdaisies]

being paranoid is funny bc like what if i'm right

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

Wasting your entire life can feel daunting. Just focus on wasting one hour at a time and you'll get there

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

I’ll admit, when I was a kid in the 90s I definitely thought that Kid Rock would have less direct involvement with military operations

[latke @latkedelrey]

boyfriend unsent a text and i asked him what it said

[Magdalene J. Taylor @magdajtaylor]

walking around outside is like scrolling with your body