I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸

I'll take your compliment when you pry it into my cold, dead hands.

There's a home for you in my blocklist without a people for a people without a blocklist.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

If I had a nickel for every orgasm I've given a woman, I'd have a hundred counterfeit dollars.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

What a morning. Got run over by one of those bloodmobiles and I still owed them half a pint after.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

What a morning. Got run over by one of those bloodmobiles and I still owed them half a pint after.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

I miss Gene Kelly so much that I still visit the cemetery once a year to tap dance on his grave.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

@DrewVento Boy would I like to say the same for myself, but the Overton window just isn't there yet.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

I once tried mixing vodka with wheatgrass juice but I didn't like it.

Probably for the best because what if I did and drank it all the time and ended up being a 130-year-old alcoholic?

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

He’s in a rush at the weed store put him behind three middle aged white women who are asking the cashier “what does this one make you feel like”

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

@JanusTiresias I read "CUNY" too fast and wondered "Why in the world would Linda be heckled at the..."

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

I once tried mixing vodka with wheatgrass juice but I didn't like it.

Probably for the best because what if I did and drank it all the time and ended up being a 130-year-old alcoholic?

[Candace Owens @RealCandaceO]

THE AUDACITY.
I know you ghost-write for Erika part-time so you’re feeling personally attacked— but you are truly out of your mind to ever accuse ANYONE of making money off of Charlie Kirk.
You raised over a quarter billion dollars in q4 of last year by shamelessly selling every piece of a Charlie— inclusive of a recreated tent of his murder scene for selfies.

Everything you share includes a donation link and NONE of it is done in the spirit of trying to figure out WHO murdered Charlie. No, that part is of zero interest to you guys for some reason. You callous losers wanted the investigation over since Erika uttered “I forgive him”

Remarkably, it seems the only item you’re unwilling to prostitute to the public is the alleged video of Charlie handing over the reigns of the company over to her—reversing course on every public statement he’s ever uttered about women climbing the corporate ladder.

Everyone in the world knows what you guys are about. You have all of D.C lined up to protect you and the world sees right through it. From the bottom of my heart, I want you know something, Blake: you guys will not get away with what you’ve done to Charlie and his legacy. You will fast learn that money, and all of DC’s swamp are powerless in a match against Truth.

[Books Behind Borders @MHTruthUltra]

Call me a raging antisemite but I just don't think the only country to ever use nuclear weapons and the only country lying about having nuclear weapons should be the ones deciding who gets nuclear weapons

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

Quit? I don't know the pumpkin of the word "quit."

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

@kevin_nealon Another tweet I have to translate to English.

What happened to my country?

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

His name was Ed Heeran before he started making music.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

Tried one of those "learn a language while you sleep" systems and it's total garbage.

All I remember from it is "Mata a tu familia" and between that and the fake passport I'm getting for reasons I can't recall, I'm bleeding money.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

@funcartun At the grocery store: "I need three barrels of oranges."

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

@kevin_nealon You're working for Big Stilt, aren't you?

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

What's the name of that movie about the cop who shoots the guy his fiancé is cheating on him with?

The Departed?

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

@swingcrusader @Problematic5000 I believe it! And really, what is this?!...

https://t.co/uAwzJdbMT4

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

I don't punctuate the first sentence I do punctuate the second. I don't punctuate the third I do punctuate the fourth. I don't punctuate the last one

WHY, GEN-Z? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR BRAINS THAT MAKES YOU INFLICT THIS GRAMMATICAL CHAOS ON THE REST OF US, YOU GODDAMN MANIACS?

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

20 years ago, I worried that the next generation would use Google all the time for easy things as a replacement for using their brains.

Well, the joke's on me because nobody googles shit anymore.

Dipshits just flooding Reddit with "i wanna get a dog what kind of dogs are there"

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

The house across the street is being rented to what appears to be a ton of women. I keep seeing more and more of them going in. It's like watching a clown car get loaded up.

I am going to walk over and say hi at some point and silently pray for an 80s movie to break out.

[I'm so money and I don't even know it 🇵🇸 @Problematic3000]

Bill's profile pic being a Tide Pod is him basically admitting that his content should never be consumed.

[Bill Maher @billmaher]

People say the left and the right can’t agree on anything these days. But there is this one thing: