Boone Jug

Cracking Cold Ones | Respecting Women

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Can't hear you cause this party in the back

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

The motherfucker that decided to make the bathroom exhaust fan quite ought to be SHOT, I would like to do my business in fuckin PEACE

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Closing the wage gap

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Feeling the bass in my leg hair, it's time to get funky

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Where them Polish-American women at, I need my lil pierogi😩😩😩

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Was getting two bottles at the titty bar a lil too much?
Yes.
Did we have fun?
Best believe it.
Am I broke again?
Fuckin A right.

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Line dancing to a sing you can two step to is like kissing your cousin, it may seem fun, but it's fucked up any way you look at it

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

"Yeah, but I can back a trailer down your butt hole... That's on my resume"

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

@darubaz This just means you look your foreman in the eye till he breaks contact

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

I may not be where I thought I would be in life, but at least me and my buds don't look like a shit alt punk band. A shit red dirt band maybe, but not that other bullshit

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

@ToreBurger That's pretty much the whole point, look as douchey as possible

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

I'll catch fat reds all day, need to figure out how to catch a Big Tiddy Honky Thot😤

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

"Damn girl, you shit with that ass?"

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

God damn foreman sexting me during work😩😩😩😩

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Peak spiritualism is John Prine's "Spanish Pipedream"

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

You and my dad are a lot alike, he calls my dog Fuckstick, used to call me shitbird too

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

I feel real bad for these strippers, it's only my broke ass tipping

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

These icicles getting out of hand

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

Me vs job

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

These mfers don't know I used to be kinda sorta funny every now and then on Twitter

[Boone Jug @ProctorDoctor97]

I look like a fat ass Joe Exotic but here's me and the fam at the ABSOLUTE best place for all you can eat meats in Houston, 3rd year in a row at Avenida Churrascaria!