Krampus Anonymous

Curmudgeonly philosopher. Old at heart. Hate everything & everyone seems stupid to me. Serial butt-hugger. Specialist in existential angst. Space heater.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

I pretty much hate everyone's opinion about everything. You're all wrong, stupid, and I hate you for it, I really do.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? The algorithms do. #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

I was right. More than I knew.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Haven't paid attention to this account in a while, but quickly scrolling through tells me you'll all be even more insufferable in 2020 than you were in 2019.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Boobs and butts are twins.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Pffft hahaha, Canadia.

[The Hetal @theHetal]

What's the first thing you think of when you hear: Canada?

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Boobs and butts are twins.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Happy Election Year, everyone. As you head to the polls, ask yourself:

The devils you know...
or the Demon you wanna Know?

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

@WanderingFlame @ArrowheadPride Pretty sure the Titans oline has been holding every play.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

@ArrowheadPride Does no one want to tackle Derrick Henry because they're afraid of touching the foot-long poop sticking out of his neck?

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Haven't paid attention to this account in a while, but quickly scrolling through tells me you'll all be even more insufferable in 2020 than you were in 2019.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

@herstory07 You're gonna have to take that up with HR.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Oh, hey.

Happy Krampusnacht everyone. Time to pay for your sins.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

These #ExOnTheBeach people are already living in a worse hell than I could ever provide, just by being themselves.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

"Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do!" #MyTwitterAnniversary

But really, he didn't.
(Probably called someone an asshole or something.)

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Just saw a commercial for Myrtle Beach using Hootie and the Blowfish's "Only wanna be with you" and I'm wondering, wow, did they get the song for free or something?

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

@LapsusLima Could put an eye out.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Sexbots like hardass teachers and Judge Judy.

For your edification.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Handsome, confident: we all wish we could be so.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

#ParadiseHotel drinking game: take a shot every time someone says "at the end of the day" (just kidding don't do it, you'll die. Also, I watch garbage because I am garbage.)

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

Is a Dick Wolf the gay male equivalent of a cougar?

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

@herstory07 Hatred for... things. People.

[Krampus Anonymous @ProfKrampusAnon]

I wanna strangle the Sprint guy with his awful sweaters.