Mike Thinks About It

I tweet therefore I am. You can pretty much stick this word in any pretentious quote. Have fun.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Unfollow your dreams!

(marketing Twitter here, obviously)

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

I'd agree with that if you weren't wrong.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

I imagine you all just think "Thank fuck I managed not to say that... Now where can I get rid of it?" and that's why I'm following.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

I'm gonna have one glass of wine now and save the rest of the bottle for also now.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

How long can you be right on the verge of sneezing? I think I'm on day six now.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Awesome group cuddle. Now where's my glasses?

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

I just learned about the word "postjudiced". Seeing how I always know best, it feels like I got my hands on kryptonite.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

When your boss asks about your personal life in a sudden uncoordinated stab at appearing social.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

I'm not biased. Some of my best friends are Donald Trump.

[chuuch @ch000ch]

me [dead and in hell for over 3000 years]: still can't believe i used the wrong you're in that one tweet

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

So you preach the word? On Twitter we call that "stealing tweets" but we do it from different accounts rather than just God.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Let me know if you have some spare sleep gathering dust. I'm all over that.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

"Italian food" means "saturated fats served on a kingsize bed of stupid carbs" in italian. In english it means "stuff my face full of that".

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Smart-ass points awarded to co-worker Ben for pointing out that I described him with the adjective "undescribable".

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Sarah Palin must have just assumed we'd already tweeted everything we can possibly tweet about her a long time ago. She was wrong.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

"OK, duck face products. Let's think outside the box. Ideas?"
"Well, I got this dog that I hate..."

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Just expressing what the world's most wool-yielding sheep reminds me of. I'm out of kush btw.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Is there a green button somewhere?

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Sometimes it's a little frustrating that "How come you're overweight when you're vegan?" is not considered polite conversation.

[Mike Thinks About It @PsychedMike]

Twitter is the only place where it's OK to act like a rock star. I'm not a rock star btw.