Psychotic Logician

Buy my book: "The Philosophy of Mind Travel" by Psychotic Logician
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[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

If a mac book pro was an animal, then it could become a fossil when it stops working.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

When someone says to another person that they are being quiet, what they are also saying is that they are quite also.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

If Jane Doe hears voices, then Jane Doe is mentally ill.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

I can’t fly in my lucid dreams, because I don’t know how to fly when I’m awake.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Two things Tim Tebow would never do: he would never steal a book from a library, and he would never be a communist.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

If a person is good at hockey, then that person is white.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Why can’t Humans freeze themselves and live again after being melted? Blood cells can do it; Sperm can do it; Benny the dog did it in Vanilla Sky.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Are animals too stupid to talk like humans, or are humans too stupid to talk like animals?

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

A good way to decide whether you should buy a PC or a Mac is to see which one is FDA-approved.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Prison would suck. Not because of getting raped or your ass kicked, but because you have no heroin to control your shakes.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

An ice cube in a cup of water does not make the water level rise. This is true, except for the fact that if the ice cube is hollow, then the water level will lower.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

I think a good time to play Candy Land would be to eat candy while playing. Thus, the best time to play Candy Land is on Halloween

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Skinny dipping in a beach = nude beach, or sex offender.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

It is not doubtful that kangaroos can eat cranberries. It is doubtful that cranberries can eat kangaroos.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Driving on mushrooms is sort of like Mario Kart. The only difference is that in Mario Kart you eat shrooms to make you better, and in real life eating shrooms makes you worse.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

If your child is having problems doing addition in school, then instead of Ritalin, you might consider giving your child LSD, so that they can hallucinate the answer to the math question.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Christopher Columbus introduced disease to the new world. The new world introduced mescaline to Christopher Columbus.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

It is entirely possible to be on a ‘highway to hell’. What's even worse is that you must pay a freeway toll along the way.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

5 hours ago I watched a marathon of Rug Rats episodes, because 5 hours ago I smoked a J.

[Psychotic Logician @PsychoticLogic1]

Mathematics constructs a city (God as a mathematician). Mushrooms populate it (God as a psychonaut). DMT trip (God as a mathematician + God as a psychonaut = God can do whatever God wants)