Puck Post

Unprovoked.

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There once was a rodent unclothed
Who became to a pit viper betrothed
When the naked mole rat
Had grown tellingly fat
Her sibilant lover propothed
#LimerickRhyme #humor #nakedmolerat #rodentology

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

A young driver set on climate renewal
Finding carbon emissions quite cruel
Gave his willy a yank,
And aimed in the tank,
Unclear on the term biofuel
#limericks #humor #biofuel #ClimateCrisis

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There was a vice squad crime fighter,
A lech’rous and creepy old blighter,
To enjoin the point
When busting a joint
His night stick he grimly gripped tighter
#LimerickRhyme #poetry #VICE #FOP

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There was a brisk gent from Pawtucket
Who to save time often peed in a bucket
Observing in horror
Granny scrubbing the floor,
“Oh, no!” He cried out, “My Nantucket!”
#LimerickRhyme #humor #Pawtucket #MrClean

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There was a hot silicon coder
Who'd learned well what mentors had showed her
Her digital skills
Gave nerd boys such thrills
They desperately sought to upload her
#Limericks #humor #SiliconValley #digital

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

When Praetorians headed south from the Forum,
Sicilian girls, they hoped to explore ‘em;
But when togas did rise
They found in surprise
That Athenians had been there before ‘em
#Limericks #humor #Rome #Syracuse

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

Though you may accuse me of whoring
For gladly with scores of men scoring,
You adipose softgel,
You pathetic incel—
At least I’m not limp-dicked and boring!
#limerick #humor #gelatin #EdmundWhite

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

An orbiting Episcopalian,
Upon reaching her frigid aphelion,
Mistook for God’s
The glittering rod
Of a cosmically energized alien
#limericks #humor #poem #poetry #aliens #Orbital

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

At an orgy a Québecois single 
In a frolicsome pile did mingle
With sa bite dans une chat,
Sur un pilon he sat,
Thinking, ‘Such a blessing to be raised bilingual!’
#limericks #humor #poems #poésie #Québec

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

Though perhaps an old English shibboleth,
It’s one you’re advised not to quibble with:
If you value your spleen
Don’t fuck with the queen;
It’s unseemly even to nibble Beth
#Limerick #LimerickRhyme #humor #poetry #Elizabethan

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There was a somnolent Atlantan
Whom someone on Christmas did plant an
Unwanted smacker—
With tongue did attack her!
The hickey she woke with was Santan
#Limerick #LimerickRhyme #humor #poetry #Santa

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There once was a young country bumpkin
Who in the barn made a vigorous thumpin’
Drawers at his knees,
With exuberant glee,
He was joyously fucking a pumpkin

#LimerickRhyme #humor #Thanksgiving #SquishSquash

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

A leggy young writer from Hibbing
Adept at loquacious ad-libbing
To her editor quipped
As to Chitown she tripped
She looked forward to Illinois tribbing
#LimerickRhyme #humor #ChicagoTribune #journalism

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

Remarked a poor man in Aurora
Whose town had become a Gomorrah,
“I’m fine with newcomers
In nice paler colors—
As long as they don’t bring a Torah!”
#LimerickRhyme #humor #Aurora #RNC #DNC #SodomAnd

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There was a young wench from Denpasar
Who on a couch ground faster and faster
Her vig’rous frottage
Left fragrant fromage,
Inspiring the antimacassar
#LimerickRhyme #humor #Bali #upholstery

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

A dumb squirrel in treetops abiding
Was with the earth quite roughly colliding
In a deadly mishap
He’d furiously flap’d;
The poor dolt mistook flying for gliding
#Limerick #humor #poetry #Squirrel #Pteromyini #BASEjump

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There once was a trader called Earl
Who lost his shirt to a devious squirrel
The rodentious shyster,
A scheming oak-meister,
Convinced him a nut was a pearl
#LimerickRhyme #humor #poetry #Squirrel #swindle

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

@politicalplayer The man is as inspiring and intelligent as a damp donut.
Vance is the strawberry frosting.

“No donut! No donut!!”

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

“You assholes, you’ll depopulate ’em!”
Rejoined the wily hunters, verbatim:
“Do not deplore us—
We’re insectivorous!’”
And with that, they lustily ate ‘em.

#LimerickRhyme #humor #poetry #PharaohCicada #Insectivore #Denver

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

A pair of slick Denbo interlopers,
Unparalleled dental floss ropers,
Unafraid ‘a
The lowly cicada,
Enraged Midwest bug-watching hopers:

#LimerickRhyme #humor #poetry #PharaohCicada #Insectivore #Denver

[Puck Post @PuckPost]

There once was a hunter from Turin
Adept at arboreal lurin’
To catch the tree-rat
In tall oaks he sat
Deploying a decoy sciurine
#LimerickRhyme #humor #poetry #Squirrel #hunting