PUGSPIRACY

Welcome to my strange page! Straight jackets are to the left, meds are to the right., keep your hands off my crayons and no licking the windows! 🤪

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

SING LIKE NOONE IS LISTENING.
DANCE LIKE YOU NEED TO BE SHOT WITH A TRANQUILIZER DART!

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

@Acyn Trump has always lived by the rule that "if reality hurts just lie enough - and it makes it all better"

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Him: Just be yourself.
Me: ....
Him: Maybe try something else.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

When we had the bicentennial in 1976 we enjoyed all the festivities all over this country and had fun everywhere. This one has been blocked out by his fat ugly ego and his destruction of the White House grounds. His personal festivities preferences are a shame for our soldiers who, if they wanted to go and get a free ticket they have to be measured for their size and how they look to attend? WTF is that? Is that some sort of preference for himself so our army looks like some sort of fantasy for him? Also they have to pay to get there for the free ticket which I'm sure will cost them. I don't feel happy about it like I did in 1976 about this.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

*At Historic Site*
Guide: "Anyone have any questions?"
Me: "What's the WiFi password?"
Guide: "I mean about the 17th Century Life!"
Me: "Oh.... Dost thou have thy password?"

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Me: [taking a selfie] OMG TOO MUCH FACE!!!

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

[Webex call]
Me: *just repeatedly flushing the toilet*

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Friend: You’re really rocking those white pants!
Me: These are my legs

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Doctor: You’ve gained weight
Me: Being a middle aged woman is heavy
Doctor:
Me: Depression is a lot to carry
Doctor:
Me: Life’s weighing me down
Doctor:
Me: OK,OK, it’s the pop-tarts

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Going thru my bureau for summer clothes...

OMG, I still fit in my summer socks!!!

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

When I look in the mirror, I see the same person I saw 20 years ago...
...only like, mugged or something.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Me [staring at ceiling]: What if Mr. Peanut had a peanut allergy?
Therapist: I'm charging you double for this session.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

It's the only way Trump can get some sort of Crowd in one place to see him anymore. He cares only for himself and what he wants. Forget about the country. This is for his pleasure. Watch for all the bragging on Truth Social after this and him taking all the accolades if there are any.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

"For me, taking a perfect selfie is just a matter of perfect lighting and applying the right filter"
*puts sheet over head*
*turns off light*

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

If I ever do anything that offends you, please don't hesitate to let me know so I can do it more.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Go out? Talk to people?
What am I, some kind of circus performer or something?

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Me: It's great to be finally back in the office after having the flu for a week.
Coworker: [scraping yogurt container for 8 minutes]
Me: I hate it here.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

OTHER WOMEN IN FLATS: sexy, adorable, dainty, ballerina-like
ME IN FLATS: Ronald McDonald

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Me: OMG WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THAT???
Lady: It’s a pomchi. It’s half chihuahua and half-
Me: Pom Pom.
Lady: What? No, half-
Me: Pomegranate.
Lady: Haha, a p-
Me: Pompadour.
Lady: OMG no, a-
Me: Pompeii.
Lady: Stay away from my dog.

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

@nairs40 It's fun! 🤪 I'm innocent I tell ya

[PUGSPIRACY @Pugspiracy]

Husband: You punched me in your sleep last night.
Me: I wasn’t asleep.