Wonder Red

Unite and Conquer. Getting worse at Tetris

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

My New Years resolution is to follow @sprattconnor on twitter

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

Sorry for my super noticeable absence lately, I’m still making big moves but every time I log on here I start taking poison damage

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

I’m convinced that I get sick every couple of months because my body is trying to make me drink water. It’s crafty like that. Back to Dr Pepper when I can breathe again you little trickster

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

Finally tried a banana

[Wario64 @Wario64]

Donkey Kong Country (TV series) is free to watch on YouTube
Season 1 https://t.co/NcXfc57ivm
Season 2 https://t.co/RNYmkitQDP

Tubi https://t.co/QyNF12nUi9

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

They said I’d never tweet again. They offered me 14.3 million USD to never draft another tweet. But I just love the game too much

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

@BuckyIsotope This is what high school history teachers must go through every day

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

@notfromthemoon the vet looking at your cat:

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

I can’t put night shift at the blood bank on my resume. Everyone on earth will think I’m a vampire

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

People will really let you use their shower and neglect to mention that you have to play Stravinsky on the faucet dials to turn it on

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

I get to be the best man this weekend. Shocked to discover that until then there’s a better man out there

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

@HarrisMeredith caught moseying

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

Maintenance: scuse us sir we’re about to flip the-
Me:

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

Maintenance knocked on my door to warn me they were gonna test the fire alarm so it didn’t freak me out. Unfortunately I was standing right next to the door when they knocked so they scared me anyway

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

@AC_WarnerBros @svvamphorror here to help

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

@HarrisMeredith qdouble

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

A year out from my horrible life-changing injury where I hurt my disc-throwing shoulder a little bit, I’m now the world’s best right-handed left-handed frisbee golfer

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

I can look at a blood sample and tell its blood sugar, white blood cell count, the person’s name, date of birth, credit card information, whether they need more iron, etc. But my boss is mad because I “can’t tell it’s orange.” When would that ever come up again

[Wonder Red @PumpkinRapper]

“Can you make me a car?” I ask Giggles the Clown, taking ten bucks out of a big sack. He nods and starts blowing into a balloon. Distant police sirens gradually get louder. “Speed it up, Giggles”