Ryan Hall

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@Splitgate This needs to be in the main rotation!

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@Splitgate please.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@Splitgate I got a concept. Let’s not skip #gobblegate! I want my cranberry sauce cup and gravy gun skins. @Splitgate

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

Are you guys getting Pokemon Vaccine: Maderna or Pfizer version?

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

Google “turkey snoods” if you want your day ruined.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

I’ll just come right out and say it: Turkeys are gross, ugly birds.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

You’re all walking around like trading paper rectangles and metal circles for literally anything isn’t fascinating.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

To whom it may concern: My rapper name is officially Post-Nasal Drip.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

Who are these people in commercials that pick up their 16oz open glass container beverages with such ferocity? Have they no regard for spilling!?

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

The older I get the more I eat Toaster Strudels for the pastry and not the frosting. I can’t tell you how much that scares me.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

Since there have been no confirmed deaths from the storms, I feel I can safely make the joke: “Tornados gonna tornate!”

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@Jordanimal Shut the hell up dude, no one else has noticed! You’ll jinx it.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

I haven’t tweeted in almost 5 years, but I’m tweeting now to tell you all they put “gangster’s paradise” in the Sonic the Hedgehog live action movie trailer.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@madimae10 Oh god.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@jhaas94 well now I'm depressed.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@kendralerie40 @whitney_stanga I'll bring you ice cream if you do get it!

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@kendralerie40 @whitney_stanga I will not tell you in a house, I will not tell it to a mouse.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@kendralerie40 @whitney_stanga it doesn't follow rhyme scheme like buy/fly.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@kendralerie40 @whitney_stanga fly = drive to pick it up and bring it.

[Ryan Hall @PurpleSoap]

@kendralerie40 @whitney_stanga you buy, I'll fly!