Olga Schnur

Mom of 3. God is my rock!

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Loyalty is not owed to anyone, anywhere. You offer loyalty when it’s rooted in mutual respect. Forced loyalty to someone who is hurting you is called abuse.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

If they judge you for not accepting their love, they don't love you. They also don't see that you've been hurt enough to need patience in trusting love and that you're wise enough to detect control dressed as love.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

When you feel guilty for putting boundaries in place with people who hurt you, imagine the little kid in you who was made to feel responsible for tolerating other peoples bad behavior. Every time you use your voice now, you are being the protector they deserved then.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

No one else is the hero of your survival story. No therapist, course, conference or book took those steps for you. You did. No one can take credit for the depth you’ve explored in order to stay here and heal. You should be so proud.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Wanting someone to be held accountable is not:

-Living in the past.
-Being unforgiving.
-Seeking revenge.

It is:

-Being the brave person who is trying to make sure others don’t get hurt like they did while respecting the cost of what they’ve had to heal from.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Sometimes the only power an abuser has is to tell you you are overreacting. Notice, they’re not denying what they’ve done. They’re denying your right to respond how you see fit. Your response is valid. Their abuse was not.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

“You’re stuck in the past.”

Healing traumatic memories is not being stuck in the past. Telling someone how they should feel about shit you did to them is being stuck in the past. The person processing the past is healing from it. The person blaming them for that is stuck there.

[Olga Schnur @QueenBlanco555]

THAT MF-ing PART!!!!

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

When you see your abuser treat strangers the way you long to be treated, it’s confirmation of their deception-not a goal for you to try harder to get the same respect.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Your sensitivity is beautiful. Truly, a gift. But, it can’t be the guide on how you protect yourself from others unfair expectations. The best way to respect sensitivity is to protect it from scenarios where it has potential to breed resentment.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

In a toxic family, the scapegoat often spends years attempting to adapt to ongoing abuse. The family normalizes the abuse, until the scapegoat finds a way out. Then, they deny it. The family spends their days recreating false narratives while the scapegoat leaves & finds peace.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

You are not responsible for your parents emotions. You are not responsible for their reactions to boundaries you place. You are not responsible to make them understand you choosing a different life than they did. You are responsible to live in a way that helps you feel whole.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Please don’t teach your empathic and sensitive kids to “toughen up” for the world. Teach them how to adapt to the world in a way that honors, protects, and respects the way they are made. The world needs their empathy.

[Gredel Blanco @cosmicbeauty007]

Hanging tough with my sister @oandbschnur at the NKOTB concert!! #RODEOHOUSTON #nkotb

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

People talk about high sensitivity as if it’s a negative thing or something that needs to be changed. Being highly sensitive doesn’t always mean someone’s fragile. It means they feel and experience things deeply and quickly. This includes other peoples bullshit.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Telling someone who is trying to heal to “Leave it in the past” is dismissing their nervous system & body. No one wants to relive traumatic experiences on an ongoing basis. People respond to past trauma because they’re traumatized, not because they’re unwilling to let go.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

There is a common decency in respecting a survivors desire to not be in the presence of someone who traumatized them. This includes when it’s a family member, a former spouse, a mutual friend that seems harmless. When the survivor says no, it’s a no.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Be unavailable for other peoples pain they’re not willing to address. Be kind. Compassionate. Observe. Encourage. But, be be clear that you are not willing to hold pain that you didn’t cause.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

After traumatizing someone, an abuser will be quick to remind them of good memories they’ve contributed to. There are millions of people that contribute to other peoples good memories without also traumatizing them. It’s fine to remember the good, but never to neutralize abuse.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

Your voice shakes because it knows prior consequences where no matter how you said it, you weren’t heard. Respect that tremble when you get your words out. There’s memories there and every one of them matters. Damn, you’re brave.

[Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt]

The difference between cycle breakers & those who traumatized them, is given the opportunity to have power, the cycle breaker still won’t seek revenge. Given the opportunity, many perpetrators would strike again. And that is why there is a difference in those who break the cycle.