QuipFox🦊

Sharing funny tweets, ran by longtime fan of hashtag games (see link below for hashtag game schedule) “Quip ~ a clever, often sarcastic remark”

[QuipFox🦊 @QuipFox]

#HowValentinesDayWentWrong
Got too handsy with your date

[crocodile @crocodilecrisis]

i’d like for this vid to be erased forever, thank you.

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

Nobody sees the 5am runs.

Nobody sees me choosing a salad over fries.

Nobody sees me doing yoga in a peaceful sunlit room.

Because I don't do any of these things.

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

Cashier: That will be $58.49.

Me: *pulls out $100 bill*

Cashier: Sorry, we’ve been having issues with counterfeit bills lately. Anything smaller?

Me: *pulls out $75 bill*

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

"Bro! Can you pass me a pamphlet?"

"Brochure."

[k @ysljennii]

me with the laundry from the dryer

[greg @greg16676935420]

What color hair do they put on a bald persons drivers license?

[Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot]

I wonder if the person who coined the phrase ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ got really annoyed when everyone else started using it.

[Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth]

So if Iran decides to blockade our blockade of their blockade, we will just have to blockade their blockade of our blockade blockading their blockade.

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

My dog after eating my philosophy book

[QuipFox🦊 @QuipFox]

Benadryl
#HowISurviveTheNight

[Mitch Goldich 🐙 @mitchgoldich]

The biggest game of the first round is on Friday, when Long Island battles Arizona for iced tea supremacy

[parks @parkersity_9]

the fact that walls get dusty is ridiculous. you're vertical. act like it.

[Kristen @Kica333]

Flour Companies: What if we put it in a paper bag that’s only partially sealed at the bottom?

[Jasmine 🌌🔭 @astro_jaz]

I JUST REALIZED NASA SAW MY STUPID ASS TWEET AND REPLIED??? 😭😭

[No Context Brits @NoContextBrits]

The “why won’t this fucking drawer open” starter pack.

[Ⓜ️isterD @MisterD78UK]

My cat's interest in this room: Zero
My cat's interest in this room when door is closed: Nothing has ever been as important as getting in this room

[Planet Of Memes @PlanetOfMemes]

Squirrel + coffee = Super Squirrel

[Ryan Doka @DokaRyan]

Update: shitting my brains out today

[Crime and PUNishment @MadisonCarly26]

Why do Americans say tuna fish?
We know tuna is a fish.

I can't wait to have chicken bird for lunch.

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

They were shaken to the core.