Sarcasm

A collection of funny tweets that is updated daily. Don't forget to follow us!

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- You're like a coin.

- Awwww, valuable?

- No, two faced

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mom: how are your grades this semester?

me: mother what's important is that we have our health

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my phone is basically just a clock sitting in my pocket because nobody contacts me

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"ur such a bitch"

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My favorite sport is going downstairs to get more food

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Person: You're ugly.

Me: I was trying to look like you today.

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Use y=mx+b to calculate the slope of how down hill my life is going

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ppl: u should talk more!
me: *tries to talk*
gets ignored - gets interrupted - gets talked over - no one pays attention - no one cares

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I can send you a text at 12:04 & be asleep by 12:05

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I study.
I take the test.
I pass.
I forget what I learned.
Whats the point?

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me: I'm going to bed early tonight.

me: is that the sun?!

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"Stop fucking spending money like this. We talked about this"

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Dear auto correct, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.

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99.9% of my sentences start with
oh my god
yeah
no
basically
wait
so yeah
like
you know
oh
um
what
well
but

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when you didnt have to cut any friends off in 2016 cause you barely have any 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

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dont judge a book by its cover

my math textbook has a picture of someone enjoying themselves on it

i did not enjoy myself at all

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When you know you dont belong but you try to fit in anyways

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Me: I wanna eat healthier

Me: yes i'd like 2 McWraps with a large diet coke please

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Growing up isn't fun anymore.

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Starting 2016 like