QuotesFroMynightsOut

I'm a nerd with a social life that picks up all the shit you say. Deal with it!

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

9 years you say? 2020 doesn't count so let's make it 8

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

I mean, I love a good asshole. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"I'm waiting."
"For what?"
"I'm waiting to decide if I have a massive headache or a meh one."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

@Steves1990 Cc @muditameta

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"You can puke from the smell of your own fart too."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

@Steves1990 Back by popular demand.

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

Me:*burping. Him:"that's the sexiest thing I've heard tonight."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

That moment when you arrive at a party and everyone looks like a model& you wonder why you got invited. Did they need fat/curvey diversity?

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"Pretty sure being friends with #taylorswift is not kosher. Just look at her shrimp like face."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"Sometimes I take care of myself and sometimes I wonder where the wine is."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"For you, I would even eat fish. And I hate fish."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"All your stories arouse me. You're the devil."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"on a scale from 1 to 5,your ass is a 3,5."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"you're the devil. People feel comfortable around you, they open up, tension is created."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"did you just did that?" "did you just put geez on my laptop? There's stuff on my phone. "

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"Your ego is bigger than your boobs."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

I have a job to do: hide in my trench coat and be clever.

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"Well, you're a selective asshole. You're not an asshole when it counts, my friend."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"Girls are witches, man. They know everything, they feel everything."

[QuotesFroMynightsOut @QuotesNights]

"<I used to be famous. > is a good answer in most situations. People don't usually ask for follow-ups."