Quotes for Blokes

Words of wisdom, in inverted commas. (Quotes for Blokes is no more, it has ceased to be - but please try my other Twitter feed @historynuts)

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That's it - calling it a day on @Quotesforblokes. Thanks for following & in the words of Dave Allen, “Goodnight, & may your God go with you”

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"Two mother-in-laws" - Lord John Russell's response when asked what he considered to be the proper punishment for bigamy

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“The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom” - William Blake

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"Boxing's just show business with blood" - Frank Bruno

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"The way to tell if a man is sexually excited is if he's breathing" - Jo Brand

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"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt" - Bertrand Russell

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"Thunder is the sound of God moving his beer barrels across the floor of the sky" - Cyril Fletcher

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"My only regret in life is that I did not drink more champagne" - economist John Maynard Keynes

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"A gentleman never offends unintentionally" - Oscar Wilde

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"The whole world is run on bluff... Why allow the other fellow to bluff you?" - Marcus Garvey

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"A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested" - Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

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"Son, I'm 30, I only went with your mother 'cause she's dirty" - Shaun Ryder, Kinky Afro

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"I shave one leg so when I'm in bed I think I'm with a woman" - Garry Shandling

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"British people have a Socialist mind and a Conservative heart" - Albert Finney, 1970

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"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" - US Pres Franklin D Roosevelt, 1933

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"Now what?" - last words of American writer William Saroyan (1908-81)

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"Our bed's only MFI - it won't take multiple orgasm" - Victoria Wood, 1990

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"Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the 19th century it was a disease; in the 20th, it's a cure" - Prof Thomas Szasz

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“I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe” - Bob Hope

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"Life is a shit sandwich and every day you take another bite" - American football player and coach Joe Schmidt