Everyone talks about financially affording children but nobody is talking enough about emotionally affording children. I always wonder in families with a lot of children if every child’s emotional needs are met by the parents beyond them simply being fed and clothed.
Most ppl don’t realise this, the body grieves routine before it grieves a person. So you aren’t crying over him. You’re crying over the version of yourself that was shaped by his patterns, attuned to his silences, fluent in the unspoken language of his inconsistencies.