Rｰ1

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

https://t.co/Nd8tZYFwf0

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Ten minutes in the shampoo aisle in gray sweats. I dare anyone to try it and tell me nobody looked. Somebody always looks. Last week she looked, picked a bottle, put it back, looked again. dudeflash caught a version of that on camera.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

1. you're stopped at the light, so you can't leave
2. she's walking slow, so she can look as long as she wants
3. she knows you can't leave
4. the light turns, you forgot how to drive, somebody's honking. pure fùcking chaos #carflash #crosswalk

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Crosswalks are the most dangerous place in Denver. Not because of traffic. Let me explain.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

dudeflash says yes
https://t.co/ND7Luf4VpO

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Would your friend look too?

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

https://t.co/ND7Luf4VpO

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Hot take from a guy who works with his hands: dìck jokes are funny right up until it's on the table and somebody goes quiet. Then nobody's laughing. Her least of all. dudeflash gets it.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

https://t.co/dfgHGSIyo6

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Every waxer I've had this year, ranked:

the guy in Lakewood. cold hands
the place on Broadway. would not stop talking
the blonde. never flinched once, not even at the end

dudeflash has one with her in it, swear it's the same blonde #waxing

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

gym clothes, earbuds in, total silence
https://t.co/YEDP8bZI34

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

quietest aisle in the whole building and she picked it. I dare you to find a quieter one #libraryflash

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Not saying what happened after. dudeflash has a hotel maid clip that gets about 90 percent of it right though.

I tipped twenty that day. Apparently it's usually two.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Three nights in a Grand Junction hotel for a job taught me one thing about housekeeping.

Housekeeping knocks at 10:15. Day one I'm gone. Day two I'm in the shower. Day three I forget the sign and I'm lying there in nothing when the door clicks.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

She saw all of it. Morning, hard, everything. She said "oh." I said sorry. She said "no, it's fine" and didn't leave.

She stood there holding the towels. I stayed where I was. Nobody moved for a long time.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

She slides the pen over and says "take your time, honey."

I took my time. She didn't mind one bit.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Lunch at the nursery where we pick up our plants. A woman runs the register out back, maybe 55, silver streak in her black hair, calls everybody honey.

I've known her two years. Yesterday was different.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

Ninety minutes of loading sod and my shorts are soaked through. I come in to sign the invoice and she looks up from the clipboard, then down. And stays down.

I wait for her to be embarrassed. She isn't.

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

one of them nudged the other. I saw that

[Rｰ1 @R1_Life]

POV: first time at the nude beach and two friends on a towel stop talking mid sentence