Can'tGetNo...

Knucklehead w/an opinion

[Lello @AntoLello2]

Bach rimane il più grande. Punto.

[Florence Peugeot 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 @Blu_Hair_Betty]

Eric Schmitt: Did you or did you not freeze the windows on AirForce one and The White House this past winter?

Jack Smith: Senator, I'm human not a magical being who can control the cold. I believe you're confusing me with Jack Frost.

@SenEricSchmitt (snowflake)

[PaulleyTicks @PaulleyTicks]

ERIC SCHMITT: Wasn't it true that in the early 80's you would publicly dress in drag under your stage name Kelly Garrett, fantasizing that you were part of a secret crime-fighting trio that worked for a millionaire named Charlie?

JACK SMITH: No sir, that was Jaclyn Smith.

[Barracuda Obama ™ @st33lspike]

Schmitt: Do you, or do you not, in fact, cut down trees for money?

Jack Smith: Sir, that is a Lumberjack...

[Barracuda Obama ™ @st33lspike]

Schmitt: Are you, or are you not, in fact, a man that is very handy at a lot of things?

Jack Smith: Sir, that is a Jack of all trades...

[StickyBunny @skullisland1919]

Q: Prior to launching your signature home furnishings line, were you known to meddle in investigations with two women known as Sabrina Duncan and Jill Munro?

A: That’s Jacklyn Smith.

[Barracuda Obama ™ @st33lspike]

Schmitt: Are you, or are you not, in fact, a small, highly intelligent passerine bird in the corvid family?

Jack Smith: Sir, that is a Jackdaw...

[Big Tee @societyhatestee]

the weird thing about reading so much as a child and gaining a huge vocabulary from that is I can't define a lot of words i use, i just…know that they would fit correctly in a specific sentence. does anyone else experience that 😭?

[Can'tGetNo... @RKolyer]

@elaifresh Bullshit. Ocean beach was t-shirts, shorts, & bare feet. Nobody does that at 57. Clear sky, mild offshore breeze in morning. Slight reversal of breeze but temps stayed warm until sunset. Even then it was beautifully pleasant.

[Barracuda Obama ™ @st33lspike]

Schmitt: Did you, or did you not, in fact become the first Black MLB player in league history?

Jack Smith: Sir, that is Jackie Robinson...

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

The Cornell rapists are not "young men with bright futures who made a mistake."

They are the next generation of wealthy, privileged men being taught that their money and status mean they won't have to answer for their actions.

[Looseendg @kulgr01]

@gtconway3d Schmitt: Isn’t it true that you have failed to provide an alibi for even one single date when 5 prostituites were brutally murdered, their throats slashed and their bodies mutilated

Jack Smith: Senator I believe you are referring to Jack The Ripper.

[DemoDisping @demodisping]

@gtconway3d Schmitt: What would you say if I told you we had proof that you committed the heinous act of ruining several holiday baked goods, and rather than expressing remorse you congratulated yourself for it!!

Jack Smith: That was Little Jack Horner

[Simply_Re @Beth1827]

@gtconway3d Schmitt: Isn’t it true that you quickly jumped over a candlestick?

Jack Smith: No, that was Jack Be Nimble.

[Cowboy Beans @ande56495]

Schmitt: Last night you made me try to rape one of my staff and then call my Uber driver a “sand monkey.” Just this morning, you made me vomit in my bed.

Smith: Sir, are you confusing me with Jack Daniels?

[StickyBunny @skullisland1919]

Q: Are you also known as The Godfather Of Fitness?
A: That’s Jack Lalanne.

[Jeff Boyardee TM @JEFFY1979]

Schmitt: is it true that you lived with 2 women and your landlord, Mr. Roper thought you were gay?

Smith: That was Jack Tripper

[Barracuda Obama ™ @st33lspike]

Schmitt: Did you, or did you not, in fact, threaten to slap your wife, Alice, "to the moon"?

Sir, that is Jackie Gleason...

[Freddy KrueGARRRR Mellencamp 🦜 @FredKMellencamp]

Schmitt: Isn't it true you're a hapless violinist and racist, with a black butler named Rochester?

Smith: I believe you're referring to Jack Benny.

[Barracuda Obama ™ @st33lspike]

Schmitt: Are you, or are you not, in fact, the winner of 6 Olympic medals, 3 of which were Gold?

Jack Smith: Sir, that is Jackie Joyner-Kersee...