Beer League Derby Captain

I'm the roller derby captain your team got on

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

There are sexual assaulters who have returned to play faster under WFTDA than we will RTP under this plan. #RTP1100 #derbytwitter #whatvaccine #thisvaccine #gottastartmissingWFTDImoneysoon

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Come to Butthead...
#derbytwitter

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

I know this GameStop stuff is funny, but you have to remember this is hurting real people who own multiple boats

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

This tweet will serve as notice that I am retiring from Beer League Roller Derby. I ghosted my league for three weeks and didn't tell anyone in leadership so they tried to carry on league business in my absence with a replacement. #derbytwitter

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Hi team. At some point we're gonna need to have a talk about who's coming back to derby when this is over. I'm sending out invites and don't need any of your addresses, if that gives you any indication.

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Sometimes I see my reflection in the mirror and I say "That haircut makes you look like you're on a registry for people that can't get close to schools and you need to get a different haircut." Great Clips is not to be trifled with.

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Better Call Saul is like Frasier for people who like 🔮crystal.

[gender of the day @genderoftheday]

Today's gender is a yelling brave little toaster.

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Rick and Morty isn't animated Back to the Future. Rick and Morty is animated Breaking Bad.

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Make Someone Smarter Than Me President Again.

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

I'm so tired of hearing these crazy right wing conspiracy theories that I'm even muting my Facebook friends that post swimsuit photos. #makewildwomennonpoliticalagain

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Donald Trump just awarded the MRDA the Presidential Medal of Freedom. #derbytwitter

[TOKEN BLACK GIRL @danielleprescod]

shoutout to all the girls who spent the month of june "reading, listening and learning" to figure out that they, in fact, like racism.

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

@MRDAlive

[Malaika Jabali @MalaikaJabali]

Isn’t Thanksgiving already a national holiday?

[T. Lee @tallialee]

Kinda tired of always having to look at the bright side of a situation. Wish more situations were just bright to begin with.

[Borat @BoratSagdiyev]

Premiere Trump true leader - he have prove himself stronger than more than 200,000 of his American subjects!

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

Sarah has convinced me

[Daily Caller @DailyCaller]

A bunch of celebrities got naked to try and inspire you to vote

🤢🤢🤢

[Beer League Derby Captain @ROLLERDERBYCAPT]

My goal in this pandemic is to grow a beaver brush like Lord Yupa.