Robbie Portlock

[BoomerGary1958 @garyboomer58]

Check engine light came on in my 15 Camry yesterday

Took it to my mechanic, looks like it needs a new transmission

Wants $8k to replace it

So I asked how long I’ll get if he clears the code until the light comes back

Says probably a week

So I did what any self-respecting retired person on a fixed income would do

Took it home, listed it on Facebook marketplace and sold it to some dumb 16 year old kid for $15k

I love being able to help the younger generation

[Newcastle United @NUFC]

Our 2026/27 @premierleague fixtures 👊

[Rich Gugg @RichGugg]

This is my first time gambling to pay a bill because I don’t have enough money. I can’t lie it is truly exhilarating

[Willie Stewart @Lindsay04555896]

Dear Scottish twitter, please stick to this kind of material

[𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 🏴‍☠️ @c0mmandderr]

Mf dating a prescription drug

[UK Footy Bible @UKFootyBible]

Modric against England so far

[Tandy @LFC_Tandy]

Born too late to see dinosaurs
Born too early to see flying cars
Born just in time to witness Leo Messi

[ESPN FC @ESPNFC]

Lionel Messi has scored more World Cup goals after turning 35 (10) than the following players in their entire careers:

-Cristiano Ronaldo
-Thierry Henry
-Maradona
-Rivaldo
-Neymar
-Harry Kane

Absolutely insane 🤯🐐

[ᜰ 🇦🇷🇯🇵 @markklfc]

Thierry Henry on Lionel Messi becoming the oldest player ever to score a World Cup hat-trick and the player with the most goals from outside the box in World Cup history:

🗣️ “I honestly don't know what more there is left to say about Lionel Messi anymore. Every time you think he has reached the top of the mountain, he somehow finds another peak that nobody else has ever climbed before.”

“The oldest player to score a World Cup hat-trick. Just stop and think about that for a second. At an age when most players are retired, coaching, or sitting in television studios, Messi is still breaking records on the biggest stage in football.”

“And it's not just the hat-trick that amazes me. He now has more World Cup goals from outside the box than anyone in history. That tells you everything about the level of technique, vision, and confidence we are talking about.”

“These are not lucky goals. These are moments of genius. The type of goals where everyone in the stadium knows what he wants to do, but nobody can stop him from doing it anyway.”

“What makes this even more incredible is that this is his sixth World Cup. Six World Cups. Different generations, different teammates, different opponents, yet the same outcome every single time Lionel Messi deciding matches.”

“People always ask what makes certain players special. Well, special players break records. Legends create records. Messi is doing both at the same time while carrying the expectations of an entire nation.”

“I've played against some of the greatest footballers in history, I've watched some of the greatest footballers in history, but what Messi continues to do at 38 years old simply doesn't make sense.”

“This is no longer about talent. This is no longer about numbers. This is football history unfolding right before our eyes, and every single match feels like another chapter in a story that nobody thought was possible.”

[J Stewart @triffic_stuff_]

🚨HEARTBREAKING BOMBSHELL FROM DIDDLY SQUAT: JEREMY CLARKSON REVEALS HE HAS CANCER 😢

In the final two episodes of Clarkson’s Farm Season 5, Jeremy Clarkson shares some truly devastating personal news.

Jeremy is in his office discussing the farm harvest with Charlie and Kaleb Cooper when he breaks off mid-sentence, leans back in his seat, and quietly reveals the devastating news: “I’ve got cancer.”​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

A stunned Kaleb asks where. Jeremy replies it’s not something he wants to detail publicly, but he’s known since May after a medical, followed by a biopsy. It’s aggressive but caught early. He hoped to finish the harvest before treatment, but it’s hitting right in the middle.

Kaleb wipes away tears and says: "Look after yourself, you go and do…if you need anything just ring."

Later, with the full team (including Lisa, Charlie and Gerald), he reflects on the tough year: starting with heart issues and ending with this.

In the closing moments, we see him back in a hospital bed:

“So we started season five with me in a hospital bed and we are at the end of season five and I’m back in a hospital bed. Some of the treatment has gone awry, let’s say, I'm going to be here for a little while. I'm nil by mouth, i dont know whats going to happen. If this is all successful I’ll see you for season six and if it isn’t I won’t. Take care everyone.”

It’s an incredibly raw, emotional watch from a man who’s usually full of bluster and humour.

Thoughts with you, Jezza. 💔

I’m sure you’ll pull through! 💪

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

Restore Britain are not 'extremists'.

The real extremists are those MPs in the Labour Party, Reform UK and the Conservative Party who imported countless unvetted young men from the third world who hate our way of life, treat women like dirt and want us dead.

That's extremist.

[adidas Football @adidasfootball]

THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME.

#YouGotThis

[Hater Central @TheHateCentral]

@vermilionpixie 8k replies

[ITV Football @itvfootball]

Lionel Messi became the oldest player ever to score multiple goals at a #FIFAWorldCup match at 38 years, 357 days 😮‍💨

Just check out this hat-trick...

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

I haven’t forgotten what happened in Belfast, and nor should you.

[BURN IT ALL 4 SUE STORM ᗢ | WNCel⚔️ @haniimhome]

They’re not old enough to be on social media but can have their faces plastered all over tv. Alright man 😂😂😂

[The Touchline | 𝐓 @TouchlineX]

🚨🗣️ Felix Nmecha on why he prayed with the Curacao National Team after the game:

"In the match we are rivals, but after the game we are all Christians and we are all brothers."

"We shared a short prayer because we believe that Jesus is glorified through the game."

[𝑝𝑢𝑟𝑒 @purelivn]

why do we destroy the earth for nothing?

[Lange @LangelihleMkhu1]

Even me I still can’t believe I saw this in the flesh🥺

[Rupert Lowe MP @RupertLowe10]

The biggest action day in British history.

We are going to Restore Britain.