Rachel U

Back in the U.S. after living in Japan for the past four years.

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

Temps in the low 40's in the Gulf Coast means I can finally listen to In The Bleak Midwinter without feeling I'm being ironic. 😏❄️

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

Best Freudian slip I've ever heard:
"Vladimort Putin"
#hewhomustnotbenamed

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

Surprised to randomly see @iamtay_tay in an episode of Samurai Gourmet on Netflix! 😲 And with some of my fav actors! How fun! 😄

[トーフグ @tofugu]

Had enough of being stared at by Japanese people? Print this cover, wrap a book with it, and hope they get the hint: https://t.co/KB464ggj8r

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

Saw sticker on dash of USPS truck: "Please try backing up as little as possible"
Modified to: "Please try f#cking up as little as possible"😂

[Sanrio @sanrio]

Introducing, #Aggretsuko! She's a Red Panda who works as an office associate of a trading company in Tokyo. Watch this video to learn more!

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

What I think when the baby sits on my lap:

"Now is a good time to bond and create memories"

What she thinks:

"Now is a good time to poop"

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

I feel like I woke up this morning in the prologue of a dystopian novel.

[Jonno Turner @jonnot]

To the man who dressed up as his dog's favourite toy for #Halloween. You are my hero.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Twitter is shutting down Vine.

It's as if millions of voices cried out in terror for exactly 6 seconds and were suddenly silenced.

[Meg @Megaafauna]

When ur human says "who's a good boy" and u already know it's u

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: When will I be too old for naps?

Me: When you actually want to take them.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

I don't care what the plural form of "moose" is.

But I had a 10-minute fight about it anyway because marriage.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Best feelings in the world:

3) eating chocolate

2) taking a nap

1) hearing a kid throw a fit in public & realizing it's not one of yours

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

How to impress a woman on a first date: "I'll pick up this $200 tab."

How to impress your wife: "This pizza was on sale & I used a coupon."

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

Boy loves his green smoothies!
この子はグリーンスムージーが大好きだ! https://t.co/yiX6PrBBOA

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

Summer vacation 😂
夏休み中 https://t.co/JPdMB31AXT

[Rachel U @RUeki86]

"This is my Bowie knife. I call him David."
"....David the Bowie knife?"
"Yes. Why?"