The Real American Dadass

Dad to 4 pint-sized dictators. Follow along as my sanity slips through my fingertips |My tweets:

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

When you hear your kids waking up

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

Some call her Hailie but I call her peanut Eminem.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

🎅🏻

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

Laundry is fun because you get to walk around the house and sing things like, “Too many clothes, not enough hangers!” in your Ludacris voice.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

New age mentality: if it doesn’t directly affect me, I don’t give a fuck.

Pretty sad if I’m being honest...

Empathy and unity are seemingly dead.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

I haven’t had a beer in 3 days and I still don’t have abs, this is bullshit.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

I’m a much kinder and gentler parent when my kids listen the first fucking time.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

Grrrr

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

🇺🇸

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

I hate to brag, but I can embarrass my kids by just being out in public with them now.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

😱

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

🤮

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

A cool thing about getting older is how every year it gets harder and harder to pick yourself up off the floor.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

My 15 year old got her driver’s permit. Pray for me.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

Remember when we were young and we didn’t have any aches and pains? That was cool.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

Why couldn’t the boy lizard please the girl lizard?

He had a reptile dysfunction.

I’ll show myself out

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

Teenage daughter has my car windows down “vibing” to Taylor Swift. Yep. This is my life.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

@jeannied95 Here and there. Wish it was my frequent but I’ll pop in from time to time. Thank you! 😁

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

I wish I loved anything as much as my washer and dryer love to eat socks.

[The Real American Dadass @R_A_Dadass]

It’s been a fun run, but I think the page is nearing an end. Life is full of unexpected changes. Thanks for the support over the years!