trailer park jesus

6’7” | career dumbass | Olympic Gold medalist in Mental Gymnastics | I sexually identify as a disappointment | he/him

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

i’m playing punk songs at country bars you’ve never been brave enough to walk into

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

EVERYONE SHUT UP IM SEEING HILLARY DUFF!!!

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

i scheduled a psychiatric appointment to get diagnosed and medicated. I’ve never been so stoked to have a middle aged man ask me invasive questions

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

@PanicStationsHQ Man I Love Frogs 🐸

[Panic Stations || VERY SAFE DINO PARK! 🦖🐸 @PanicStationsHQ]

🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

Our playtest starts today!!!

To celebrate - I'll just DM a whole bunch of you steam keys!

Retweet, follow, and reply with a 🐸 to enter!

🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

dookie coochie

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

stop and smell the farts every once in a while guys… damn

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

🤭

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

i need to know wtf apple music shuffle algorithm is cause i’ve heard this one damn song every day for almost a week. it’s on a playlist that’s 3500 songs. The approximate odds to hear it period are 0.028%, let alone multiple times

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

my favorite thing about the Simpsons is that during flashbacks, they give Marge less hair and Homer more hair

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

@Professorbroman transparent labs does an unflavored protein only powder that i’ve been putting in juice for ages. My life changed when i put it into ice cream, and even further when i put it into eggs 👀

[greg @greg16676935420]

Taylor Swift going down the aisle at her wedding

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

people caught not putting their shopping carts back in the correct spot should be publicly executed.

I know it seems harsh, but like what else ARENT they doing. We need people that can self regulate im tired!!!

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

i almost got t-boned RIGHT in front of a cop, and they didn’t pull that mf over. “Protect and Serve” my ASS

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

the last dog i had started to go deaf, so i started doing more things with my hands. Like waving at him, and patting my leg, and pointing at things. Hearing be damned that little guy was gonna know i loved him 😭

[éirinn 🦦 @h2oproofteabag]

i’ll never forget someone telling me that dogs don’t understand the fact they’ve lost their hearing so to them it’s as though we’ve stopped speaking to them 😭😭😭

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

@CRankinit69 in the jim, straight up sippin it, and by “it” well let’s justr say, my choccy milk

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

@alyxandriae of course i do, that monster haunts my every moment

[trailer park jesus @R_J98]

sitting in the work bathroom seething that someone is singing chappel bore (3rd time tn) just for a spider to disturb my existence

mf survived two stomps!! brother i will burn this restaurant down with both of us in it