Rachel Cress

I live on a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific where I help play make-believe for a living.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

I like to do this super fun thing where I proofread my emails immediately after sending them. It’s like a high stakes word search, except the prize is anxiety.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@indicatorfn @grok Random person here, reporting for duty

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

This is the 2015 dress all over again.

If you see a panicked woman trying to escape a rent-a-cop, you’re “left-brained.” If you see a domestic terrorist ramming a man with her car, you’re “brainwashed.”

#ReneeNicoleGood

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@clerpatriot If cops have to get psychologically cleared after an incident like that, why not ICE agents? Sounds to me like he was unfit for the job.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@MattWalshBlog Oh wow, good call. I’m sure men’s rising suicide rates have zero to do with people like you broadcasting opinions like that. Reeeaaally doing the the Lord’s work, aren’t you Matt.

Please continue to speak more about delicate topics you’re not qualified to speak on.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@dbdegn @MattWalshBlog You must be new here.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@insatiablevine @MattWalshBlog I genuinely hope you never reproduce. But if you do, I hope your children need therapy (which I’m guessing they will anyway based on your overall persona - yikes) Perhaps that will be the thing that pushes you to evolve. Thoughts and prayers.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

Living in Hawaii is all fun and games until your feral neighborhood roosters decide to have a crow-off at 2am.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

Sending deceptively silly psychology memes to your mom Trojan horse style in lieu of therapy because she refuses

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

Brb about to sleep shoulder to shoulder with complete strangers in an aluminum bird flying across the ocean.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@leah_from 🤙🏼

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@instagram I’m trying to log back into @rachelkcress and it won’t give me the option, it freezes here. Heeeeeelp!

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@instagram SOS I’m locked out of my account, how do I get back in?!

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

BRB, flying to another island for a date.
Hawaii, I love you.

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@sadinthealps Why do I love this so much?

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@hauntedintro Her family had a vacation home in Stone Harbor across from the bird sanctuary 👀

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@KayeSteinsapir I’m so sorry. Thinking of sweet Molly tonight. My heart hurts for all who loved her.

[Neil Gaiman @neilhimself]

I woke up to find I'm now blue ticked again. I haven't paid for Twitter or given anyone my phone number. Mr Musk, if you're paying for people who don't want blue ticks to have them, @StephenKing's suggestion that you donate the money to charity is excellent. To Refugees, perhaps?

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@rubenhassid 2

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

@jkarmill Nope. There’s nothing like the subtle thrill of a freshly organized silverware drawer. 🤩

[Rachel Cress @RachelEbelPhoto]

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.