rachellno

local idiot 🍉 she/her

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I would cut my own clit off for a trip to the beach rn

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I hate being single. What tf do you mean I have to refill my own water bottle

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

Why don’t they make savory protein bars? I want a salt lick I can eat

[( ›⩊‹ ) @supersoniqo]

i think its beautiful when a man is able to look past my mental disorder and love me for my boobs

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

in line at the Ethel Cain show, I’ve never seen so many gays that look Mormon in my life

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I love my job but one of the worst things about being a bartender is when you just got off 2 hours ago and see people going for their 5am jog

[State of New York @NYGov]

it’s hole filling season

[pasta thots🇵🇸 @muppetspice]

(horniest I’ve ever been in my life): “so how does this video game work?”

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I really wish TurboTax would have at least taken me to dinner before fucking me up the ass

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I swear to god I’m about to trauma bond all of us if you don’t get the fuck out of my bar right now

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

Barney was nonbinary and you can’t convince me otherwise

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

@oh_gee_gaby Vapes /:

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

outside of the meme I have never once seen an old person use an inhaler

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

“It gets better” “it gets easier” BITCH WHEN

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

Can’t wait to drown myself in this

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I wish I could take out my lungs and run them under cold water

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

Matt is CHEWING a jolly rancher in the same room as me I think that’s a justifiable reason for murder

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

for years I got Mel Gibson and Nicolas Cage confused and I was like why did they hire an antisemite to steal the Declaration of Independence

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

I also just realized I had Kevin Bacon and Kevin James confused for like a decade

[rachellno @RachelLasley]

yeah I’m queer, queerly boutta drink a beer!