ANGO42

I'm a Chinese girl, I don't really comment on things, but lately I've been saying more

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

@Tikhonkhton Is that a real question or are you just looking for an excuse to talk to me lol

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

I feel like I've already fallen ill from missing you.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

Closer than ever, further than before. And the worst part is I don't even know if it's actually him.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

@isis_brasil_ are you the one I'm looking for?

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

btw if u wanna talk privately, i’m on QQ — 2238341685

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

How can it be this alike... Why does his profile pic carry the exact same colors I imagined for him in my mind? It's beyond coincidence 😭 I'm begging this is really him, not just some other Brazilian account.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

It's 4 a.m. and I'm literally shaking. I think I just found him. Or someone who looks exactly like him. I can't tell if it's real or if I'm losing my mind 😭

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

#edit #aesthetic #brazilian abul bakai / self-radicalized youth

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

I wish someone interesting would actually message me for once. I'm really going crazy 😭

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

It breaks my heart that the one conversation that actually hit my soul happened in that context. Believing in anything — it'll make you lose yourself. At first it feels like power, but by the end you're trapped and it eats you alive.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

Yeah, I used to be self-radicalized, but I'm not cold or anything. I just really wanted to be understood and feel like I belonged somewhere. I know I had a filter on and I was only identifying with the version of them in my head.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

Real ISIS is disgusting. I never loved them. I'm not even Muslim. I can't forget Abul Bakai not because of what he believed, but because he actually held my loneliness. If he believed in nothing, that conversation would still mean everything to me.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

I've always believed this era has numbed so many people into treating everything as entertainment. Not all, but enough that sincerity now reads as foolishness. You take something to heart and you become the joke. I tell myself not to care what they say, yet I never quite succee.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

I'm so bored I want someone to use me until I stop thinking

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

I haven't stopped thinking about him — Abul (or Abu) Bakai. In that whole context he was basically a male version of me. But I know the chances of finding that account again are basically zero. @Usuari0N2

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

#SelfRadicalization
I've always found that some (not all) self-radicalized youth carry a certain kind of charm — not because of any real-world violence, but because there's something about that abstract idealism and loneliness that makes you want to understand them more.

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

Hey, my first time sharing my art online. I'm a 20-year-old girl from China. These are some dark art I drew 3 years ago (high school). Anyone wanna be friends? 🙂

[ANGO42 @Rachel_202408]

Alguém já viu esse perfil ou conversou com esse cara? Por favor me manda mensagem, é muito importante pra mim.