Rachel Johnson

Brown haired female loves vinyl records, waffles, and woodworking. Sort of a fun and anxious combination of Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson. She/her

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

Being sneaky will always be one of my favorite pastimes.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

@gmacek They’ve been here for a month or so. I will gladly send them all north. After one flying into my face, I’m over it.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

One of the handful (less than 10) bands that I will blindly preorder anything they create. That may not sound like a big deal, but I assure you it is. I’m frugal AF. If I’m willing to spend money without hearing anything- you know they’re crazy talented.

[American Aquarium @USAquarium]

Preorders for our new album “The Fear of Standing Still” are live & available in these four color ways.

-“Rainbow Splatter” Vinyl (1/500)
-“Magnolia Bloom” Vinyl (1/1000)
-“Blue Ridge” Vinyl (Indie Stores)
-Traditional Black 180 gram vinyl

Preorder here: https://t.co/onEn0WKWKE

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

Most unexpected sentence spoken today- *sigh* “I forgot about the monkeys.”

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

“Sometimes I get rashes out of curiosity” -loud lady at airport

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

Wasps are “spicy sky raisins”

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

When someone means to call you worthless, but they can’t remember the right word so they call you priceless instead…

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

“Daddy said the river would always lead me home. But the river can’t take me back in time and Daddy’s dead and gone…”

That line hits different the day before the anniversary of his death. Damn Jason Isbell. Got me teary at work.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

@JoyMelinda I recently got a “there’s this cool band, you’ve probably never heard of them…”

Uhhh, bitch try me. 🙄

Not only have I heard of them, I’ve seen them in concert.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

@JoyMelinda I’m still in shock!

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

“And if you asked her if anyone had held her back, she’d tell you she forgot most of their names.
The losers only think about the winners.
The winners only think about the game.” -Dawes “The Game”

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

“If the kid is old enough to know they have toes, they are old enough to know that hitting isn’t ok.”

What sort of measurement is that?!

#overheardconversations

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

How to make a new friend:
Exchange song recommendations ✅
Hang out in person ✅
Discuss common interests ✅
Suggest that they watch a video about the Donner Party with every gory detail being said by a time traveling puppet ❌

Sorry C.U.C.!

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

Happy 95th Anniversary of the St Valentines Day massacre! How the time flies! #SingleAwarenessDay

[Parks and Recreation @parksandrec]

This is your annual reminder that Leslie Knope invented Galentine's Day 💖

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

Today’s mood- “Julianna Calm Down” on repeat.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

High of 70 today. Went for a drive with the windows down, listening to some good tunes. Just what my sad little heart needed. ❤️

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

For example, last year I started washing my face MULTIPLE times a day. AND I use moisturizer. I’m practically a beauty influencer tbh.

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

Just found out about Sephora kids and I’m truly baffled. 10 years old spending any amount of money on makeup is wild to me. Back in my day, we had gross chapstick that was (supposedly) flavored like candy. And we were thankful! 👵🏻 Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s my bedtime. 😆

[Rachel Johnson @Rachel_rjo]

When I was 10ish, my Aunt C gave me several different colors of lipstick. And I thought it would HILARIOUS to cover my entire face with lipstick. Looking back, it was pretty funny. Getting it off though was a bit of a nightmare. But hey, you live and you learn.