Flatten The GOP Ⓥ

100% Vegan, 1000% Radical.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

If you're happy and you know it, don't rub it in.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Texting is actually making us smarter bellows with autocorrect our brains halve to figure out what the person was origami trying to Sicily.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Sometimes I’ll pee and I’m like what the heck, I don’t remember drinking that much blood.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Okay, if we’re not all secretly trapped in some sort of hell then how do you explain Coldplay?

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Harper: I feel like Lance has lots of skeletons in his closet.

Lance: I’m ready to come out of the closet.

Harper: You’re gay? That’s cool.

Lance: No, I like boning skeletons.

Lance and Harper: *laugh*

Skeleton: *smokes a cig*

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

My favorite conspiracy theory?

The struggle is actually fake.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Hey, whoever’s playing Pitch Perfect 2 in my apartment complex, you’re being incredibly disrespectful. Please turn it up and invite me over.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

If you “Stand for the flag but kneel for The Lord,” then you recognize that your lord supersedes the flag.

If your lord stands for justice, you should kneel for the flag.

And if they don’t, then you worship two false idols.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

HBO: removes more of their own shows.
Everyone:

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Who is the face of inane questions, bad punctuation, and childish attempts at comedy.

[Tim Allen @ofctimallen]

Who is the face of woke. Do wokees have a club house in someone’s backyard or maybe a cute yet safe playpen somewhere?

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

It’s around this time of year I always freak out a little bit because my bathroom becomes a Spirit Halloween store.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

This is simple, transparent projection (in addition to being a blatant straw man).

It's no coincidence that some of the least traditionally-masculine fellas on the right - Ben, Tucker, Josh Hawley, and Jordan Peterson - complain the most about loss of so-called masculine traits.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Ben Shapiro says the US military is being ruined because it is abandoning masculinity: “People who tend to fight wars are very patriotic, very male people. Traditional masculinity has been core to that idea. But we’re a society that doesn’t believe in traditional masculinity.”

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

@REALpunknews Must be nice to have two friends. Show off.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

@mental_floss "Them." A cat is not an "it."

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

@REALpunknews Everyone using these terms now. I’m so sick of it all.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

@smartpunk The worms are their MONEY
The bones are their … dollars!

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

Abolish that one part of the IRS that provides this creature’s salary.

[Senator Ted Cruz @SenTedCruz]

Abolish the IRS.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

You can tell people are naturally stupid because they have to be told constantly not to be stupid, and even then they’re usually stupid.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

If you don’t believe in a woman’s right to govern her own body, you don’t believe in liberty.

If you don’t believe in freedom from theological rule, you don’t believe in freedom.

If you don’t believe in protest, you’re unAmerican.

#HappyIndependenceDay
#ProtestIsPatriotism

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

@slimyswampghost So sad that no one's seen BLOOD MOON, because that's the best werewolf movie.

[Flatten The GOP Ⓥ @Radicalex]

So at what point does the big foot just come down and squash us just to speed up this process?