Dave Burke

Between a rock and a metal place

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

Idea: a dating app for witches called CraftSingles

[dontdrinkbeer @dontdrinkbeer]

Beer nerds a year in vs jaded beer dudes seven years in

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@MannyOWar Salt

[Revolt of the Apes @RevoltoftheApes]

Dude, sorry I can’t
Hang out tonight — turns out I’m
A vessel for gloom

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

"I'll take 'Reasons I Left Instagram' for $600, Alex."

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

"How it feels to chew 5 Gum"

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@emrazz Hanged*

Unless there was a time that witches were executed for having giant penises.

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

Um, excuse me I'm in my 30s now; I eat chicken TENDERS, not chicken FINGERS.

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@MannyOWar Led Zeppelin, Jethro Tull, Black Sabbath

Among many worthy contenders

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@riffspreader The Immigrant Song

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

And disregard the empty cases of cheap vodka and seltzer behind me. They're not related to this.

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

Due to the national White Claw shortage, I will be selling "deconstructed Claws" from the back of my car. Meet me outside the liquor store.

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

You'd think that after the 3rd time he knocked into a display this guy would realize he should push the shopping cart instead of pulling it behind him. #nope

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

Come to think of it, I've never had a problem teaching an old dog a new trick. It's old humans that seem to have an issue listening and learning.

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@FORM_DESTROYER Hey thanks. And in case I forget in six weeks, same to you 🍻

[Revolt of the Apes @RevoltoftheApes]

Metal as hell to
Sit home Friday night, brooding
And exhausted, dude

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@FORM_DESTROYER Hey I just did that the other day. All of the above applies to me as well 💁🏻‍♂️

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

I didn't think the beverage industry could irritate me any more than it already has, until I heard about a "national shortage" of vodka mixed with carbonated water.

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@MannyOWar All-Dressed 🍁

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

@Doombrarian Those sound like two dwarves that only forge wallet chains

[Dave Burke @Ragnarok_N_Roll]

"You guys have anything smaller than a 36pk?!"

We have an 18pk in the cooler.

"How many are in there?"