Racist Ralph Northam

Moonwalking through my term as Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia. Technically a parody. But also, alarmingly accurate.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

The followers of this account are aware that my rebirth is anything but unlikely. https://t.co/OyOb9SHvu0

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Christ. It’s no wonder these shit kickers thought up the tiki torch stunt.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

This sucks.

[Brandon Jarvis @Jaaavis]

Governor Northam's official portrait was released today

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

The one thing we always had was cultural power in Virginia. People saw us as the adults. Now that dancing shithead and his army of schoolmarms are throwing it all away.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

These fucking idiots.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

@TerryMcAuliffe I can’t believe you’re embarrassing me like this you dumb motherfucker.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Take it from a guy who knows a thing or two about costumes. That was fucking stupid.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Our people live for process these days. They think everything is the Voting Rights Act. It’s not. This is catnip for white women but it doesn’t help somebody get a job or buy a house.

[Tim Kaine @timkaine]

This came in the mail today. So I called Senator Warner and thanked him for cosponsoring the voting rights bill!

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

@ComfortablySmug You’ve always underestimated me.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Did I want to moonwalk in that press conference? Hell yeah I did. And it would have been funny. But I didn’t do it because I’m not weak.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

To succeed at governing, you have to be good with people without needing people. If you need people, they’ll eat you or leach you or screw you or you’ll do something stupid.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

The neediest type of person is the one who needs to feel powerful rather than just having and exercising power. That’s Cuomo. He’d pull the wings off of flies to get a fix. But some damned fools gave him control of a large state instead.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

@NYGovCuomo Bye bitch.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Can’t keep your hands off your secretary? You don’t belong in this business, Jack. You lack the toughness.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Weak.

[NPR @NPR]

BREAKING: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has resigned following detailed allegations of sexual harassment from several women. https://t.co/NkxzoDLmVA

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Many people think toughness is the same as endurance or cruelty. It is those things, yes. But also more. Toughness is discipline. Toughness is seeing the bigger picture.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

@TerryMcAuliffe Turn on the fucking grill Terry.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

@SenWhitehouse Just gotta tweet through it, brother. I’m here for you if you need anything.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Don’t say I don’t know my people.

[David Weigel @daveweigel]

The whole night is a testament to... Ralph Northam, who endorsed McAuliffe, helped Jones go the distance with Herring, and boosted Ayala in a race where, as one Democrat puts it, "nobody knew anything about anybody."

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

Hoods remain optional.

[Governor Ralph Northam @VAGovernor73]

Virginia will be removing our universal indoor mask mandate for fully-vaccinated individuals tonight at midnight, consistent with the latest @CDCgov guidelines.

It’s simple: either get your shot, or wear a mask.

[Racist Ralph Northam @RalphRacist]

You're going to miss me when I'm gone. https://t.co/5HXWhs0Zh5

[Peter Hamby @PeterHamby]

Virginia Gov Debate: Justin Fairfax just compared himself to ***Emmitt Till and George Floyd*** when saying he was falsely accused of sexual assault