Unhealed trauma makes you tolerate so much shit you don't deserve because you don't want to lose people. Healing makes you realise; losing them is better than losing yourself. You finally understand that some people don't deserve access to you — no matter how much you love them.
You are not responsible for how others feel about your boundaries. Saying no doesn't make you unkind. Protecting your peace doesn't make you selfish. You are allowed to disappoint people and still be a good person.