Randi Thompson

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@Jaclynhill Dark!!

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@Jaclynhill So sweet of you!! I would die to receive one of these! I'm needing a hot girl summer boost!! 🔥🌴

[CAL FIRE LNU @CALFIRELNU]

Type I Firefighting Helicopter Coming to Napa County Airport

#CALFIRE
#CALFIRELNU

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

You know you're turning 29 in a few days when you tweak your back while DOING YOUR HAIR. 😩

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

Why must people always insist on choosing saturday mornings to do loud ass yard work? Like my neighbor is retired, she could have it done any day of the week, but nope Saturday (when I wanna sleep) it is.

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

I just watched a guy order an iced caramel mocha (which I'm sure is already sweet) and then he added roughly 5 tablespoons of sugar to it. I'm currently concerned for his well being.

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

I'm that OCD kid that checks 15,000 times to make sure I'm at the right classroom on the first day of class. #FirstDayOfSchool

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

Having sunburnt sideboob when you have boobs that require a bra most of time, is really not enjoyable. #burntboobies #bigboobprobs

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

Almost sneezing your false lashes off is a true symptom of allergy season.

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

Last night I dreamt that I found a restaurant in Santa Rosa with the bessssst downhome southern food and fried chicken. Very sad to wake up and not have that as my reality.

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

My body: hey girl, you need some water!
Me: so I should have some coffee?..
My body: no.. Water.. H20.. We're feelin lethargic AF over here.
Me: *sips my venti iced coffee*
My body:

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

Am I the only person who literally cannot cut onions without balling like I just got dumped? 😭🔪 #notahousewife #doesthistalentcomewithage
#literallyhow

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@itsbl0ndie I'll watch any of it in any order! haha whatever is least stressful for you! 💖💖💖

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

I get upset at least once every single day about the fact that my house doesn't have a bathtub. 😭🛁💔 #abitchjustwantstorelax

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

"What's your name?"

"Randi"

"Brandy?"

"No Randi, with an R"

"Oh.. Isn't that a boy's name?..."

*awkward silence*
"I guess not since I'm a girl and my name is Randi"

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@lq2ms *3 shots of tequila*
Kidding, kidding....

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@allisonxoxo6 "Nah nah I'm fine"
*internally* fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm not fine. Side of dressing, 3 waters, salad for those bitches, shit i didn't ring in my food!...why are they seating me a 4th table! Ahhhh!"*l

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@allisonxoxo6 Hope you're feeling better! I was totally the same yesterday so I get itttt.

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

@lq2ms I want someeeee.

[Randi Thompson @RandiJT3]

My guest, whose 40TH birthday is today, really just asked me why I didn't I.D. her and was genuinely offended... Um bitch cuz you're fucking 40 and you look fucking 40. #serverlife #sorrynotsorry