According to Ranger™

This is the world according to Ranger.

(@kellythebearcat and @docprofpatrick's love child)

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Life’s a toy; squeak it.

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Me? Spoiled? Nah.

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

You got: Toby Flenderson

ITS LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL @kellythebearcat ! https://t.co/5RyvbCs6nd

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Hey @kellythebearcat and @docprofpatrick…stay on vacation. I’m having a vacation of my own with these small humans loving me 😍😍

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

This office needs more Ranger-friendly snacks.

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

People who have their priorities wrong: @docprofpatrick
https://t.co/GmW9iIKJQl

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

On top of being a Service Dog and Personal Assistant, I’m also an aspiring Sous Chef.
(That means I get to eat all of the scraps, right?)

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

You said “go to bed”, you didn’t specify WHOSE bed. #allyourpillowsarebelongtoranger

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Work is hard, but I’m glad that my mom is doing better. #lifeofaservicedog #psd #psychiatricservicedog

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Why isn’t it ever Daddy who leaves?? 😭

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO YOU THOSE THINGS ARE DANGEROUS
https://t.co/JLiGVaIHfd

[a monte cristo @kellythebearcat]

Things Ranger is afraid of:
-the bells she’s supposed to use to go outside
-vacuums
-EMPTY PAPER TOWEL ROLLS

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

You shouldn’t buy me these toys if you don’t want me throwing them at your face. #doglogic

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

IF THE CHEESE CURDS WEREN’T FOR ME THEN WHY COULD I REACH THEM IF I STOOD ON THE BACK OF THE COUCH AND TRIED REALLY HARD

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

♫ HIGHWAY TO THE…

RANGER ZONE!

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Accurate.
Also, aren’t there puppy labor laws? #freerangerskibble2016
https://t.co/nDw9yCm0BZ

[a monte cristo @kellythebearcat]

"Hey Ranger, how do you like your job so far?" https://t.co/YQMDTkXBBz

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

IT WAS IN MY CONTRACT MOM
https://t.co/3MgQnphSE1

[a monte cristo @kellythebearcat]

What do you mean naps aren't a part of my job description? https://t.co/ik356FvXOg

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Heck yeah I do! And how warm is your lap? #bestpersonalassistantever
https://t.co/GwrmW6RBay

[a monte cristo @kellythebearcat]

Week one of Ranger's personal assistant training has been a success.
She knows how to stand in… https://t.co/XFhxqi5HzR

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Home time = Ranger time

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

Mom, this is day 4 of you being home. What do you MEAN this isn’t play time?!

[According to Ranger™ @RangerSez]

CAT STOP MAKING MY MOM DISAPPEAR