Rankinstein

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

"I should’ve died in my 20s. I became successful in my 40s.I became a dad in my 50s.I feel like I’ve stolen a car-a really nice car-and I keep looking in the rearview mirror for flashing lights."Inspired by, relate to, enlightened by this guy #anthonybourdain thanks for existing.

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@suzypom19 If you don’t sing in the shower we can’t be friends and also when’s the next concert??

[Jim Jefferies Show @jefferiesshow]

He wasn't a bad painter but Picasso would make a horrible makeup artist.

[Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia]

Would be funny if at the end it was like “Porn Stars” and showed clips of people fucking too with that trumpet music still playing lmao. https://t.co/O8vIQEbJNe

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@KristenLedoux 😂

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@odognine2 I don’t always agree with u but u deserve praise for bringing some sanity to an issue. Eric karlsson voted the toughest dman to play against? Guy’s an amazing talent but defensively...come on! Marc-edouard Vlasic has way more def integrity to his game #ofdvsdfdaward

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

Just found out my shampoo is gluten free...can’t tell you what a load off my mind that is😉#dadjoke #badjoke #hatemenow @chrisdelia snaps👌

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@TorrensJonathan please make my strange dream come true. Jroc Needs to collab wiff @MichaelDapaah on an ep. “Quick maffs for quick mawfs”

[Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia]

Not to get all emo on you motherfuckers, but tonight's show reminds me why stand up is the greatest thing in my life.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Dear @TheEmmys, I'll host next year for $1million, no rehearsals, no songs, no politics & can just say what the fuck I want. Let me know :)

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@JayAndDan @JayOnrait @tsnotoole https://t.co/qWrTyG4HoO the boys are back!

[GONGSHOW® Hockey @GongshowGear]

Winner will be announced on Sept 18th! See https://t.co/FT4A3G869u for terms and conditions https://t.co/VlBknZ1NaC

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@suzypom19 you never know! 💁

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@Sportsnet mr. Dionne sure has a way with words.

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

https://t.co/RUMokC128B pretty sure I just found the winner of most moronic video on the internet. If yours is worse pls share, discuss 😂

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@chrisdelia #floatlikeabutterflystinglikeating

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@chrisdelia #vegas #toronto #drake #rudeboiz

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

@CrissAngel coming from Canada to see u Friday night at the Luxor hotel. Would love to be part of the act and make some memories!!

[All About The Habs @AATHabs]

Shea Weber vs J.T. Miller tonight.

[Rankinstein @Rankinstein89]

#radulove #gohabsgo #habsnation