cristos

Fluent in sports analogies, innuendo, and sarcasm; Love offending the politically correct.

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

@DaneCook @stavvybaby Podcast

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

@duolingo How are you adding Toronto slang as a language and not Neopolitan 🥲

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Had to change my Duolingo handle as a nod to the green owl who’s brought me here

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

@zamboniorama Così poco non sono proprio d’accordo. Per me, segnala che vogliono fare un rebuild. (Recostruire tutto) non è così male…perche voi lo dite?

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

@OverDrive1050 @TSN_Sports Buffalo still catching strays even after winning the division 😭😭

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Me logging back on Tinder a few days later when I’m NOT horny and looking at the girls I was trying to smash #Tinder

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Why does Tim Hortons require a skill testing question to Rollup the rim on mobile app? Do they not want legally retarded people winning free coffees?

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Me at 12am who’s supposed to be practicing Spanish with my AI tutor but is sexually harassing her in Spanish instead.

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

“Make sure there’s soap in the bathroom, bitches need to wash their hands”.

-My black roomate giving me advice before a Tinder date

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

I want to sign myself up for a Sensitivity Training Seminar just so I can meet the probably hilarious people who were forced to attend a Sensitivity Training Seminar.

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

When a girl is barking orders at you in the bedroom and you feel like youre having sex with Jon Tortorella

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Getting laid in the first week of January is like scoring a goal on your first shift of the big game. Now that I’m on the game-sheet already, it’s a weight off my back

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

@JT79761283 @BizNasty2point0 3 firsts plus Owen power and cozens who was also a first? Are you ok?

This is the dumbest trade ever for the sabres.

Power, mittlestat 1st and a 3rd would make more sense if anything

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

@SJosephBurns I’d rather hang with Bill Akman than all of the above

[Paul Bissonnette @BizNasty2point0]

We’re a players podcast. You want to fuck with the players we’re going to bend you over no spit, no lube, sandpaper finish.

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Fat girls on #Tinder who put “foodie” in bio: …we know.

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Girl before she’s about to sleep with me: “what’s your name again?”
#TalesFromRimini #Riccione #italia

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

*Hair dresser buzzing my head asking about my trip to Italy*

“So what brings you up to Torino?”
Me:”A slutty girl”
*almost drops buzzer*

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

Due to the fact that guys still pay for the date and make all the trips. The government should introduce a “pussy tax credit” that you can file all your pussy expenses and get rebated at the end of the year. #onpoli

[cristos @RantOUTTA_brant]

I wish I could save my Tinder messages “as draft” and revisit later when I’m not horny.