Spilt Pretzel Nuggies

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

@ohMyG00och Literally the perfect vehicle for a modern four horsemen.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

I feel the need to force my irrelevant opinion onto my few followers and the world wide web. That last episode of squid game sucked terrible ass and it's affecting my mental in my current retail environment.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Made some new paint art. Like, if you even care...

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

You ever freaking mindfreaked someone using freaking Criss Angel Mindfreaking cards?

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Customer - "Nice. You're playing Babymetal. I know because I listen to them. You can tell I'm a fan. They sound like Karate."

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

I'll forever associate and listen to this album around springtime until I'm dead.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

If anyone actually cared about me, they would get me a Pizza Hut Tiffany lamp shade.

Please care about me.

Thanks,
-Miles My Dad Used To Take The Fam To Pizza Hut Dine In Before He Died Johnson.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

@ohMyG00och Uzui>Rengoku>Mitsuri>Obanai>Shinobu>Muichoro=Giyu=Gyomei=Sanemi

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

@ohMyG00och

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Average millennial visiting their dad.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Customers Talking In Store

C1 - "Yeah, a guy at the car wash I work at killed himself."

C2 - "Oh, that sucks..."

C1 - "Yeah... I unknowingly had a hand in it."

C2- "What?!"

C1- "Yeah, I traded my shotgun for his 360, and then a few days later he shot himself in the chest."

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

@ohMyG00och To more precisely measure my penis.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

@ohMyG00och I almost bought a $200 tape measure a few months ago.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

My dad turns 71 tomorrow. What are you all getting him for his birthday?!

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

*rings customer lady up for g-fuel drinks*

*Customer pulls out credit card*

Me - "You can tap or insert."

Customer Lady - "That's what she said!"

Me - "Would you like a bag?"

Customer Lady - "I'm crazy."

Me - ...

Customer Lady - "I'm okay though."

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Nearing day 10,000 of Dua Lipa not knowing who I am.

How long must I endure this?

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

@ohMyG00och They are comedians by profession.

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

*store phone rings*

Me - "Slacker's South County."

Guy on Phone - "Please tell me you can help me. How do I get my Facebook account off my Oculus VR headset. I didn't know you could look at your profile on it and my girlfriend has been using it to look through my DM's."

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Customer - "Y'all got cbd?"

[Spilt Pretzel Nuggies @Raptornaut]

Customer - *browsing store not near me* "I'll be back, I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

Me - *Existing doing things*

Customer - *walks up to me* "Uh, did you hear me?"

Me - *gives confused look then gives customer a thumbs up*