RatedOneStar

We turn one-star nightmares into wearable weapons. Everyday bull, corporate lies, life’s disappointments. Wear the rage.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Best man lost the ring, the groom, and $900 at a craps table he still can't explain.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Nine grown men. Matching shirts. One shared liver. $2,000 bottle service on Venmo.

Groom's crying in a Denny's at 5 AM.

Las Vegas.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

BACK PRINT for the crew.
Split the bill here:
https://t.co/8htcWvrdcY

#Vegas #BachelorParty

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

The hand sanitizer station on deck 9 is just a sign that says good luck.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

5,000 strangers, one shrimp tray, and a stomach bug that clears the pool deck faster than a shark.

$4,000 to puke in a closet with a porthole.

Cruise Ships.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

Abandon ship here:
https://t.co/VTA6qElUhZ

#CruiseLife #Norovirus

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Forty rubber charms on one clog. We put tiny tacos on our feet and still wonder why aliens won't call.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Crawled out of the ocean. Invented fire. Walked on the fucking moon.

Then strapped on neon foam cheese with holes. Sport mode.

People.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

BACK PRINT for the queue.
Step into it here:
https://t.co/pELgVueyI2

#Crocs #People

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

The cows don't own watches. Nobody asked for this. Not even the farmer. He's dead.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Spring: the government steals an hour of sleep for a farmer who died in 1923.

Fall: hands it back at 2 AM like a drunk ex.

Daylight Savings.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

Set your clock here:
https://t.co/Ijtu3aUaRw

#DaylightSaving #FallBack

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Gary has a podcast now. 40,000 listeners. I'm still waiting on that callback.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Five minute set. Two drink minimum. Zero dollars.

Gary the heckler beat my closer, then took my spot.

Being a Standup Comic.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

BACK PRINT for the walk off.
Get heckled here:
https://t.co/jha6X4LksC

#StandupComedy #OpenMic

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Tried to sit in my own recliner. Got a 3 AM bark at absolutely nothing as a formal warning.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Eight pounds of fluff shrieks at the mailman, the wind, and my fucking existence.

I don't own a dog. I rent Fluffzar's couch.

Pomeranians.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

BACK PRINT for the bow.
Kneel here:
https://t.co/sB6g9Lm1ZC

#Pomeranian #DogsOfX

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

HR called it attrition. I called it my two weeks. The plant called it a mercy killing.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Back to a gray cube, a dead plant, and a badge reader that hates me.

The mandate was built to make me quit. First plan leadership ever nailed.

Return to Office.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

Clock out here:
https://t.co/NY44WIFYUO

#ReturnToOffice #RTO

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

The joker stickers peeled off by week two. The wine was gone by hand two.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

$400 "hand crafted" tiles that click like a toy cash register. $40 wine to survive Barbara.

Won $2 in quarters. My financial advisor wept.

Mahjong.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

Cash out here:
https://t.co/1pMarSP1Vv

#Mahjong #MahjongNight

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

That camera has seen me at Taco Bell more than my own mother has. Neither one approves.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Went for tacos. A pole camera logged my plate, my time, and my shame.

Tracked like a FedEx box. Nobody asked.

Flock Cameras.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

BACK PRINT for the pole.
Get scanned here:
https://t.co/aB7O2Y9064

#FlockCameras #Privacy

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

Called the front desk to fight the fee. They added a $12 phone convenience fee.

[RatedOneStar @RatedOneStarHQ]

$79 room. $55 a night resort fee for a dead treadmill and Wi Fi from 1998.

I didn't book a hotel. A chandelier mugged me.

Las Vegas.
Rated One Star.
Royally Sucks! Would NOT Recommend.

BACK PRINT for the front desk.
Dispute it here:
https://t.co/OZMZ8fb76S

#ResortFees #Vegas