Official BATT J 🇬🇧

The Man, The Myth, The Batt Jennings #byebyeV

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Bae: come round
Me: I can't I'm at the top of the stairs
Bae: I'm home alone bring a blue thing
Me:

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

I have the honour of being a best man today. Only problem is I just can’t stop thinking about the night that was 11 years ago.

04/07/2015 the night I lost my virginity.

I hope i shag tonight

#byebyev

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

@TRobinsonNewEra was good to meet you yesterday 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Off to Dover today to stop the boats 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧brought a large pack of bacon and will put it as a first line of defence!

Protect our boarders at all costs 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

London went off yesterday 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧estimated 5 million of us all there as one. We need to stand together to stop the illegal people coming in our country and stealing our jobs.
Had an Indian takeaway when I got home, bit ironic I know but the food can stay they can leave.

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Just tried my dad’s but it’s saying it’s already in use ?

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Lost my wallet. Does anyone have a spare ID I can borrow? Really fancy a cheeky tug

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Lost my wallet. Does anyone have a spare ID I can borrow? Really fancy a cheeky tug

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Today marks 10 years since I lost my virginity.

10 years of chopping.

Some stats over the last 10 years.

Shags - 3621

Women - 2894
Cats - 8

Bareback - 3620
Condoms - 2 (1 posh wank)

Big up all the minge I have consumed over the last 10 years.

#byebyeV

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Selling vapes £15… fuck the government and their pussy laws

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

It’s officially been 9 years since I lost my human virginity. Obviously there were my cats before that, but tonight I’ll be raising a glass for #IndeVagday. Hope you all will too #July4th #cats

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Pub crawl day 🍻 can’t wait to smash loads of bag after my first pint #376

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Morning bathtub time with Dad ✅ Birthday wank ✅ Full English and a can of Stella ✅ What a way to spend my birthday morning.

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Can’t believe I’ve been outed here

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

Not my confession, but my boyfriend's confession really. Whilst having a wank, he regularly has to stop so he can use his vape

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

@GwytherCharlie Shut up nerd, can smell your breath from here 🤮

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Is it St Patrick’s day ? Because my penis is Dublin 🍀

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Happy new year all ☺️ this year we lost Two truly amazing fur balls, Bingo and Pudding. So everyone have a drink for them legends tonight 🫡 Love Batt J

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Pub crawl eve 🍻 1st bath of the month and I get the pleasure of mum and dad tonight 🎅🏼

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

8 more sleeps 🎅🏼🍻

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Long live the king

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

@JAKEWIL28 Reminds me of my favourite YouTuber #astridwett

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Drinking ban for me so bad to have mums favourite 🫡

[Official BATT J 🇬🇧 @RattymanJ]

Completely forgot about Glasto tickets this morning. Missed it because I was having a bath with my Dad 😫