Global Poet

Poet • Screenwriter • Content Writer • Multipotentialite • Author of “Jupiter and Saturn” 🌗 COYB💙 Bankai!. Africa’s Global Poet | 30BG

[Morris Monye @Morris_Monye]

Amaechi wants to take Sowore’s life 😂

[Babalola Esq.⚖️ @Owiggy_]

“I didn’t know he was into fraud”

So na 9-5 he use carry you go vacation for SA?😒

[Chachi @___Chachi]

When my grandpa died in 2019 at the age of 90, some of my friends came around to console me. Yusuf casually said to me, “Omo, this una grandpa chop life! 90 years? The man fit don reduce your papa’s age.” 😂

Fast-forward to 2024, I lost my father at the age of 50. They all came around again to condole with me. The moment Yusuf opened his mouth, everyone shouted, “Yusuf, don’t say anything stupid!” 😂

Then he said, “This time, I have good news. Chachi, you will live long.” 😂We all burst out laughing.

That’s how men become. Even in the middle of the toughest moments, somehow, someone will always find a way to make everyone laugh. 😂

[PALLIATIVE UMU ASA ™ @13_xcvi]

I dey knack this 19 year old one time like that, as I wan cum, this nasty ass bitch said and I quote “give me all your juice daddy” 😭😭😭😭😭

Bro!!!! Say I still dey alive today, i never really still understand how😂😂😂😂😂😂

But that was the day I wrote her off cos for her to have such a vocabulary at 19, e simply means say no be today she start 😭😭😭😭😭

[Marshall Mathers @Eminem]

I'm sorry we never got a chance to meet, but getting this note from Dolly really had a an impact on me. She definitely didn't have to take the time to do it. Even for a kid who mostly listened to rap music, she was an icon. A superstar in every sense. Rest easy Dolly. And thank you for the kind words.

[Fay. @___dontstressme]

offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

[abena💅✨ @abenatc]

reference 😂😭😭😭

[HONITEL👑 @HonitelHQ]

1. Do not rent a house close to a church, mosque, or school. You’ll regret it if you do.

2. The first red flag when you are house hunting is if the landlord/landlady lives in the compound. Abort mission.

3. The best time to house hunt is during the rainy season. It helps you avoid places that are prone to flooding and erosion.

4. The kind of people who live in the compound, street, or estate is very important. It is best to live among married or family people. This will save you from trouble. I’ll not explain further.

5. Check for proximity to a standard gym, supermarket, pharmacy, filling station, hospital/clinic, and police station.

6. Any house that is asking for two years’ rent upwards is a red flag. They’ll most likely serve you a quit notice after those two years so they can rent it out to someone who will pay two years’ rent and pay all the caution fees you paid.

7. Check how frequently they bring light in that area. Don’t ask the house agent or tenants. Ask those shop owners and children on that street. They’ll tell you the truth.

8. Always ask and check if the last occupant of the house is owing light bills. If you don’t, you’ll end up paying for light that you didn’t use.

9. Check for network. Do not rent a house where you have to go to your kitchen before you can have access to good network.

10. Take your time. If it is going to take you six months to find a house of your taste and budget, then wait and keep searching. Never pay for a house in a haste or out of desperation.

11. If it is not a new house, do your findings to know why the last tenant of the apartment you want to rent packed out.

12. Ask about their policies. Do they allow generators? Do they lock the gate too early? Do they rent out apartments to people with questionable characters, occupations, etc.? These are red flags that may land you in trouble if you ignore them.

[BLESSED 🥷 @Dee_9889]

INTERVIEWER: You said “The human brain is unique and miraculous, It works and functions optically 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year UNTIL YOU JOIN APC THEN IT STOPS WORKING”. Daniel is your brain still working? 😂

BWALA;

[Global Poet @Ravhin_elf]

@justtemi__ Congratulations 🍾

[Fred @Fedrickkkkkk]

As old as I am, if I bill my papa for food money now him go still credit me.
As I Dey pray to guide so I go change him life naso him sef Dey pray to guide so him go change my life.

We go later see who go change eachother life sha.

[Cyborg Warlord @Admiral_Cyborg]

Femi Otedola's father was once a governor who used hundreds of billions of Naira without any form of accountability.

Decades later, he and his children are referred to as "OLD MONEY".

You people are funny.

[everybodyhatesCRAZE. @keshdelight]

I’ll leave this here .

[Ricky Vaughn @dvigilrpg]

Strange how the voices in a woman's head never seem to say, do the dishes, give your husband a blow job.

It's always, 'kill the kids'.

So strange.

[JEFFREY @Jeff_Okhai]

Same person that married your poor grandfather

[💛 @azamindset]

na small thing dey burst una head lmao 😂

[Allie Beth Stuckey @conservmillen]

Something I did not realize at first: Lindsay Clancy was never diagnosed with postpartum depression or psychosis. These diagnoses have only been applied to her during this trial.

[Hon. Abdul🔥 @Gassol0001]

U removed subsidy and gave the money to Govs.

Now u're asking me to go n hold Govs accountable.

Did u ask me before giving them?

Your insane 😎🫵

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Imagine the shoemaker was a girl selling mangoes.

And a man is patronizing her and telling her to enter his house and that he's the only one at home.

Just imagine it.

[The Cooking Medic🩺 @Judith_Moru]

"Your bum bum is actually bigger than I expected"

He says, as he grabs a handful of soft succulent ass..

Yes... Na me, na me😌