reagan flora

☻

[serena shahidi @glamdemon2004]

Prosciutto is so good until it starts tasting like missing people

[Uncle Benzo (Reborn) @SobrietyField]

Just had a fart that came out ice cold

[mrs. dobbins ☕️🪶 @mrsdobbins_]

um sure I’ll check my schedule, but if my husband who I hang out with constantly is available, I’ll be hanging out with him

[jacob elordi’s big toe @nernisthewernis]

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans

[roo @rootemperature]

what’s up with toilet paper nowadays turning red when u wipe

[this happened to my buddy eric @flowrmeadow]

This time of year is very stressful for sensitive young men with too many light jackets. Very hard to squeeze them all into just 3 weeks of light jacket weather.

[Tina @Tina23664722279]

#ImTina

[AlecBaldwin(HABF) @AlecBaldwin]

Starbucks on 93 and B'way. Uptight Queen barrista named JAY has an attitude problem.

[boob dylan @BYUsupersoaker]

can’t teach an old butt new farts

[2014 HONDA CIVIC @skeletonyuth]

ya’ll got money for dubai chocolate but didn’t pay ur rent that shit was dubai the 1st

[$B @BrendanDaGawd]

⠀

[dinosaur @dinosaurs1969]

the moth in my bedroom that my landlord painted over before i moved in

[The Enforcer @cooper200882]

I tried to drown my little sister one time when I got mad

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

I’ve pooped in gas stations you wouldn’t even pee in

[chase @funnysmartguy12]

AGHHHH HAGHHUH HAHHHHH AGHHHHHH!!!!!1!1!!!1!!

[Richard Siken @richardsiken]

I ate too many peanut butter filled pretzels. They looked like little pillows but they were crunchy. I ate all of them. I feel kind of sick now. This feels worse than a broken heart. And I did it to myself. I did it to myself.

[moesha @yunclesage]

Cereal be good as hell every 200 weeks

[:( @mostnormalwoman]

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room who knows where I’ll go next

[pinball wizard @y0ungpinball]

I’m on some shit that Jehovah ain’t even witness yet