RealBillSwift

Battle tested soldier of fortune, nearly accepted to college, lover of unusually hairy ladies, the Hilton sisters powder connect, chief editor of Egotastic!

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

@TheOnlyest of course there are consequences. But unlike so many totaled private sector industries, fed government will be back in a week.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

@traip95 So, never?

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

It's impossible to calculate the damage of this week's government shutdown. Unless you can count to zero.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

I lived in DC for three years. There were deadly police pursuits every single day. Just saying. The media is bored.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

I'm not suggesting you beat your kids, not hard, just don't worship them into being annoying self-indulgent twits. http://t.co/FFhlBOfW5D

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

If politicians wanted to shut down something we actually cared about, they'd shut down Internet porn.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

It's been over two hours since the government shut down. Should I be feeling something?

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

Remember the Internet before it was taken over by programmatic SEO driven automatons? At least the porn is all neatly categorized now.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

Just finished listening to all the greatest hits of Flo-Rida. There's seven minutes of my life I'll never get back.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

@KrisJenner holy pudding pops, you are like a walking Hallmark card, if Hallmark cards exploited their children for money.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

@ParisHilton It's like the computer from the Star Trek bridge breaks into song.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

I just feel more confident and steady with male voice Siri.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

At some point, isn't Syria just going to ask us to stop pussyfooting around and bomb them already?

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

If they assembled the new #DancingWiththeStars contestant group and then set them all on fire, I'd watch that.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

My favorite @haydenpanettier photo from her bikini beach trip. I can't think of a family-friendly way to caption this

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

On the Hyperloop will the woman seated next to the window still have to go to the bathroom every twenty minutes?

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

@carL0K0han You just made my head explode.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

The benefits of 3D printing are truly staggering. The downside, still gotta stand in those insufferable lines at Kinkos.

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

Hate me, but these were my serious questions after leaving Man of Steel. http://t.co/yFGpqX2Eo1

[RealBillSwift @RealBillSwift]

There's a lot of anxious gay men out there today telling someone, 'I also need to get established in my job first....'