Erik Scott

6’ but I say I’m 5’11”

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Good news for landlords, now every building is “Pre War”

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

If Accountants used “Girl Math” #girlmath #sketchcomedy

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Erik Scott grew up in a fireworks warehouse deep in the cornfields of the American Midwest and now resides in New York City. He's still not sure if buildings should be that tall. Just a small-town boy following his dreams in the big city.
📍@TheFreeFringe Legends
#TweetTheMedia

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Inside ever man there exists two wolves

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

I bet my therapist can beat up your therapist

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

“Don’t worry, MJ will never know.”

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

I will never pay for all of my items at the self checkout, If I’m going to work I’m taking the company discount

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

My favorite articles are fashion journalists trying to make sense of celebrity choices. Every GQ article is like, "This week Jonah Hill makes the case for roller blades and silly bands".

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Ok wtf?!

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Picking up dudes at the Scientology center is called Tom Cruisin

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

If I was a urologist I’d call myself a “Private’s Detective”

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Don’t mind me, just gonna be angry all day that I’m not on a comedy festival I didn’t submit to

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

I bet Narcissus would love how often we use his name

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

I’ve been smoking more because walking just got too damn easy

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

A guy on tik tok saw my standup and told me not to quit my day job. Joke’s on you buddy, I have THREE DAY JOBS. Having one day job will be making it for me.

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Wait till the find out about adults

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Just saw the new Michael Bay movie “Ambulance”

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

Will Smith just showed that it’s better to have half the world mad at you than one woman you live with

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

I’m a huge enthusiast of the lobster from Little Mermaid, call me a Sebastian Stan

[Erik Scott @RealErikScott]

I want to get to the level in comedy just before you have to pretend to like MMA